


Love in Transition, Lost in Translation

by CardinalFrenzy



Category: GOT7
Genre: Love Potion/Spell, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-03-24 14:27:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13813095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CardinalFrenzy/pseuds/CardinalFrenzy
Summary: Mark continued to love Jinyoung from afar, knowing that these emotions wouldn't reach. Not when Jinyoung was together with Jaebum. Mark was after all, an essential stranger. Someone holding onto feelings that didn't belong to him. That doesn’t stop him from yearning though. But seems like it only takes one simple love spell casted in a moment of wistfulness to break the already fragile equilibrium.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story is dedicated to my little sister who has shown me nothing, but the utmost support in my writing. I'm still honestly a little unsure about posting this piece, but this has been an idea what's been circulating in my head for awhile now. So I hope you enjoy!

In a foreign country surrounded by thousands of people, Mark felt an unending loneliness that was only paralleled with his unconscious longing. That desire could only be described as that intimate moment when one becomes aware of another’s existence in the world. It was that second of clarity and from there, you know you would never forget them again. Some might say that this was an ordinary type of love to Mark, but he thought the depth of his feelings couldn’t be accurately measured. Similar to the way he had always distantly noted Park Jinyoung’s presence from far away, but never really considered him a person until that day their paths had personally crossed.

After Mark had finished high school, he thought that he wanted to see what more life had to offer so he had thoughtlessly applied for an university outside the country. He could still remember the brimming excitement that filled his chest when he stepped off the plane in Korea for the first time, but the initial excitement of just being somewhere foreign had gradually waned after time. He had begun to slip into a monotonous schedule as university life hadn’t been all that it had cracked up to be. While Mark thought he had studied Korean extensively before coming to the country, he couldn’t help but doubt his own decisions in life as he became more unsure of the surrounding language that created a distinct barrier between him and the people around him. 

He felt as if he had lost all ambitions and therefore became more afraid of the uncertain future.

It was only there, in a crowded room of some offbeat college party Mark had reluctantly attended out of loneliness that Jinyoung had caught his eye for the first time. They had just crossed paths, it was really something insignificant. He had passively greeted the brunet with a small nod. And then his life changed forever because right then, Jinyoung had smiled at him. The pearly whites of his teeth peaking through the parting of his pink lips and the clear skin near Jinyoung’s bright eyes crinkled in a way that Mark could only describe as lovely. It felt like the booming crowds around them had finally become quiet as Jinyoung spoke with a husky voice that only said, “Hello.”   
  
And pathetically, that was all it took, that one single moment.

Mark wondered if it was actually possible to fall in love with someone he had never spoken to before, but from there, he had become startlingly aware of the other man’s presence everywhere he went. 

Park Jinyoung was already something of a minor celebrity in his own right. He wasn’t only known for his classically handsome looks throughout their small private college campus, but for also being one of the darlings of the drama department. There were already rumors that he was going to be scouted soon by some major talent agency. When people talked about him, it was always behind closed hands. If Mark had to guess, most of the stories about Jinyoung had been exaggerated over time until the younger man became something closer to an urban legend. It seemed like no matter what the brunet did, people were always watching.

Regardless of what people said, it was that initial encounter that made the mythical man into a real person in Mark’s eyes.

As it also turned out, the two of them actually frequented some of the same areas like one of Mark’s favorite campus coffee shops. A sighting here, a passing in the hallway there. Little by little, the redhead had begun to actively search for the other man in large crowds of people.

Even among the other foreign exchange students, Mark’s quiet nature had made it hard for him to make friends. Everyone had already begun to pair off in groups while he remained alone and the isolation became deafening when surrounded by the hordes of people. It just felt easier to Mark to stay silent when every time he tried to talk to his classmates, it just ended in stilted conversation. So the sight of Jinyoung and blindingly beautiful smile had eventually begun to feel like some sort of familiar comfort. A balm to his aching heart and he fell a little more in love with each sighting until it started to become hard to actually look at Jinyoung directly without feeling effected.

Mark had never gathered the actual courage to talk to Jinyoung face to face. Even the thought of introducing himself felt sacrilegious and Jinyoung was already always surrounded by fawning masses and other impossibly beautiful people. So overtime Mark got better at sneaking small glances at the brunet out of the corner of his eye whenever the other was in close proximity. 

It was a bad habit, but he was fixated, maybe even a little obsessed. Mark couldn’t even justify all these inane actions to himself. All he knew was that Jinyoung was perfect to him in a way that no human had a right to be. He just loved Jinyoung. 

It was enough for the redhead to consider and eventually pursue a second year in foreign academics just to stay by the other’s side.

But in the end Mark also knew that the love he felt would never actually reach the other man. Those emotions didn’t matter at the end of the day for a lot of reasons and while overtime, Jinyoung had become a solid foundation of unconscious comfort for Mark, the redhead was just a passing face in the crowd to the other man. Mark could accept with absolute certainty that even if Jinyoung ever saw him, the younger man’s eyes wouldn’t actually be looking at him. This was because of what he knew of Jinyoung’s relationship status.

After all, Park Jinyoung was only one half of the campus’s golden couple.

Im Jaebum.

God Im Jaebum. Im Jaebum. Fucking Im Jaebum. The so called prized pupil of the photography department and leader of the student organized dance team. A man noted for all his accomplishments, but none more so than being Park Jinyoung’s high school sweetheart and long time boyfriend.

That damned man’s name always left a bitter note in Mark’s mouth which it was unfortunate because it was often paired with Jinyoung’s. That was probably one of the explanations for all the ugly emotions that boiled underneath the surface of Mark’s deep infatuation for Jinyoung. While those feelings couldn’t be described as an outright hatred, it bore a closer resemblance to a seething resentment.

Sometimes Mark wondered if Im Jaebum even understood what he had before him. Did Jaebum even realize how blessed he was to be in Jinyoung’s close proximity? Did he even consider the importance of those blindingly beautiful smiles when they were directed at him? Did Im Jaebum even value his boyfriend?

He acknowledged those doubts in the same way he acknowledged all the ugly antagonism he held deeply inside. It probably wasn’t right for Mark to feel that way to Jaebum, but he couldn’t help the feelings indignity that his love was never allowed to bloom into fruition and would never reach any kind of resolution. The aching tenderness he had painstakingly developed was doomed from the same moment Jinyoung smiled at him.

Jaebum and Jinyoung had admittedly painted a lovely picture standing next to each other. Jaebum’s brilliantly red hair provided a sharp contrast to Jinyoung’s traditional black locks. Their figures were striking, powerful even and that only made Mark feel more inadequate because he knew he looked nothing like Jaebum with his stupidly handsome features.

It was pathetic of him, but in one fit of depression and desperation, Mark had even attempted to dye his hair the same color of red as if this would appeal to Jinyoung in some way. The color actually ended up a lot brighter than he had intended, but Mark couldn’t be bothered to re-dye it again although sometimes when he looked in the mirror, it reminded him of his shame. As if he could be like Im Jaebum in any form.

What hope did Mark have to win against a young love that was still going strong after five years? People always said that the couple had been in sync with each other, like no words were actually needed to communicate with each other. Why would they, all Jaebum needed to do was look Jinyoung in the eyes? Everyone said that you could see it in the way the two laughed together. The way only Jinyoung had been able to tease a smile out of Jaebum when he was in one of his gruffer moods. They really looked ideal.

But Mark also knew that looks were often deceiving. Maybe it was because was in the bad of habit of always watching Jinyoung out of the corner of his eye, but had also begun to notice the cracks forming in their foundation. The space between them widening to a formal distance. It could have just been that Mark was trying to read into their actions with biased interpretations and maybe it wasn’t obvious to anyone who was a casual observer, but the redhead had become attuned to Jinyoung’s behavior over time. It seemed like a gradual process as the couple’s public displays of affection slowly decreased.

Mark noticed that Jaebum would subtly create a psychical space between the two of them whenever Jinyoung had tried to lean in closer and in that absence, the other redhead had become more welcoming of other people’s casual touches instead with wide smiles. Mark noticed with thriving indignity that it felt like Jaebum was almost ashamed to be seen with Jinyoung sometimes.

It seemed like that same burning humiliation was only matched by Jinyoung himself, who had always taken the rejection with furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips. Eventually the younger man would mold his expression into a more amiable smile to anyone else looking. It was with that same facade that Jinyoung had begun taking the initiative to stand further away from Jaebum over time. It wasn’t obvious to anyone who might not know what they were looking for. After all, Jinyoung was a brilliant actor, but Mark had seen through him. He could see in the way Jinyoung held himself in those moments.

It was hard to see that odd pause of vulnerability in the otherwise confident man and although Mark couldn’t claim to enjoy seeing Jinyoung’s unhappiness continue like this, he also couldn’t help the feelings of vindicated excitement. All he wished for with all his heart was that Jinyoung would break up with Jaebum. What was so special about the redhead to Jinyoung anyways? What right did Jaebum have to smile at other people,when the world used to smile at him instead?   
  
It was alongside those bittersweet elations that Mark also cursed Jaebum’s name. Every time he saw the other redhead, he thought, “If I was the one dating Jinyoung, I would make sure he felt treasured every single moment we were together. I would never let him feel any unhappiness. I would make sure to treat him right.”

It could be written off as useless pining, but Mark didn’t know how much he would come to regret those exact same words in the near future.   
  



	2. Chapter 1

The academic library was well under utilized, most students preferring online texts although Mark preferred the quiet atmosphere the older building had to offer. He might have also favored this place because a certain brunet and budding actor liked to come here routinely as well. So here Mark was again, residing in one of the dusty corners which so happened to have a perfect view of Park Jinyoung hunched over his own textbooks.

Perhaps it was originally Mark’s subconscious that brought him here on the off chance he might be able to see Jinyoung. That excuse was long gone now, but he still came to anticipate every time he saw the other man. Jinyoung’s schedule was like clock work most days. In highsight, this made Mark feel more than a little pathetic.

He was pining like some Taylor Swift song, bemoaning that the boy next door refused to notice him. Although Mark wasn’t some overly cliche nerd in hipster glasses and Im Jaebum wasn’t some snobby cheerleader. Honestly though? It felt like a close enough concept some days.

Mark noticed that Jinyoung had been glancing towards his phone with an odd expression the last hour or so, but hadn't made any moves to pick it up. The brunet seemed troubled.

Instead, Mark tried to concentrate instead on the strange textbook in front of him. It was an unusual find in the academic building, wedged between two bookshelves. Some modern witchcraft text that specialized in love spells. The cover was cartoonish in design, most likely pandering to some teenager girl’s yearnings. Mark would like to think he was better than that, but he still picked up the book on a whim anyways. It might be an interesting read between all of his assignments. Mark was still struggling with the language on technical terms so some of the classes felt they passed over his head in daze some days.

If school really didn't work out maybe he could just abandon civilization as a whole and live on the mountains. Then again Mark wasn't the best at camping so he probably wouldn't survive a week in the wild.

The red head grazed his fingertips against the printed words laid out before him. The love spell was garishly printed in red text. Could he really just say some archaic looking line and that was it? No store bought candles or batteries needed? Sounded way too good to be true honestly. Like something from Harry Potter or a romance youth novel.

Mark’s thoughts turned over to Jinyoung. He wondered… what it would be like if he could really just make Jinyoung fall in love with him. Mark felt like… he would really do anything in his power to make sure Jinyoung smiled all the time.

Sometimes he liked to imagine what it would be like if he was in a relationship with the other man. To even daydream about something like that in the first place felt silly, but it was one of the things Mark indulged in anyways. The fantasies were basic, honestly simplistic in material. Mark had wondered in depth what would it be like to hold Jinyoung's hand. How big was the other man's compared to his own? What would it be like to stand directly besides him for once?

He had some many questions he wanted to ask the other. How was the play Jinyoung had been preparing for going? What was his opinion the school's food? Were there times the other man felt lonely? Like Mark?

He played out the conversations in his mind. There wasn't anyone else to talk to, so Mark liked to imagined these conversations and sensations. With so much time on his hands, he felt like he was passing life in a constant dream. He wondered what would it be like if Jinyoung only looked at him with love in his eyes?

But that was never going to happen. To think any further was uncertain territory. That’s probably why Mark was the one pondering on hypothetical what if’s and spells books, instead of being the one to wrap their arms around Jinyoung at the end of the day. It was like he was waiting for something that would never happen. Not as long as Jaebum and Jinyoung were still together. Then again, Mark wasn’t the one making Jinyoung miserable.

A loud sound resonated throughout the silent space that broke Mark’s current train of thought. He peered over the direction of the noise to see Jaebum towering over Jinyoung. The older man seemed to be in some kind of foul mood. His shoulders were squared and his jaw was protruding in an intimidating fashion. Jaebum began to speak slowly in a voice that seemed like it was trying to restrain itself, “Why haven’t you been answering your phone? I’ve been waiting inside the cafe we were supposed to meet at for half an hour like a fucking idiot.”

Mark felt intimidated by the powerful image Jaebum created, but to Jinyoung’s credit, he hardly reacted. The latter’s dark eyes lazily scanned the pages in front of him, “Oh really? Ah. I’m sorry, I guess I just forgot because… I was so busy studying. I put my phone on silent mode because I wanted to concentrate on my work load.”

That must have been why Jinyoung had been looking at his phone, he was anticipating the calls but he never intended to answer them. It occurred to Mark that the action seemed incredibly spiteful, but he still couldn't help root for the brunet anyways.

Jaebum growled, “God don’t even bullshit me. I know you’re on your phone all the time. Were you just gonna let all my calls go through while you watched every one of them go to voicemail? Instead you’re just trying to make me chase after you. Seriously, what’s your problem lately?”

Jinyoung finally graced Jaebum with a heated glare of his own, “Just stop. We are in a public space and I thought you just hated making a scene.”

“Yah! Are you out of your mind? What the hell is wrong with you? Don’t try to twist my words back on me. God, I just can’t believe you sometimes. Look, I know you and I know right now you’re pulling one of your petty passive aggressive acts about something.”

“Well if you really know me so well, then maybe you should already know what’s wrong.”

Mark watched warily as Jaebum brought himself closer to Jinyoung. The former's space was now invading the other man's personal space. Mark wondered idly if he should interrupt the two of them, but he wasn't sure what he would even say if he could. It wasn't his place.

It seemed like for a second, Jaebsm's expression lightened as he tried to put what was presumably a comforting hand on Jinyoung's shoulder. The brunet reacted instantaneously, brushing aside Jaebum's hand. It looked like there wasn't going to be any easy resolution any time soon. The couple's expressions darkened into they were both grimacing at each other. Jinyoung's features had looked almost more sorrowful, Mark could have sworn for a second that the other man's lip quivered for a second.

It seemed like regardless of the earlier warnings about their surroundings, neither seemed to care about the potential witnesses to their fight. It’s kind of a mystery how they haven’t noticed he had been watching the two of them this entire time.

Jinyoung spoke in a wavering voice, an accent coloring his words, “Yah, don’t touch me. So now you wanna put your hands on me? Hrm? After avoiding all the times I’ve tried to reach out to you? After you went and let everyone put their hands on you instead?”

The words seemed to relight a fire in the larger man. Jaebum rolled his head and let out a hysterical sound, “Christ not this again. Jinyoung, we’ve fucking talked about this before. You know I’m not comfortable with PDA where everyone can see and talk about us. You really want to keep making me look like some kind of fool? We go through the same thing like every single month. I’m getting so sick and tired of this bullshit. You told me before that you were gonna tell me whenever you felt like this before blowing up on me.”

Jinyoung looked wounded, his dark brown eyes looked glassy with unshed tears. Mark continued to watch, transfixed by the troubled expression on the other man’s face. He gripped tight on the book cover in his hand. Jinyoung opened his mouth to reply, but Jaebum beat him to the punch.

“How the hell am I supposed to know anything when you aren’t even telling me anything. Look you… you have to trust me when I say I love you, okay? Why do you have to look for meaning in every single thing I do?”

“Trust you? How the hell can I trust you when…! When you don’t even take me seriously? All you do is dismiss me! Even right now all you’ve done is…!”

The raising volume of their voices echoed the premises. Mark knew he couldn’t stand staying here any longer. This conversation hadn't been meant for his ears nor anyone else's. Even though the couple were spitting fire at each other, the words were still felt so intensely intimate. The red head turned away from the couple and tried to quickly pack up his things. Although the two seemed too engaged with each other to have even notice his presence in the first place.

Mark made his quiet escape down one of the adjoining hallways and took a right into one of the isolated bathrooms. The newly found comparison of silence to what had just transpired earlier felt strange. He tried to take a moment to recollect himself. It was perplexing. Mark felt troubled by what he had overheard. On one hand, Jinyoung had looked so vulnerable during the fight. Mark couldn’t help, but want to protect the other man. Yet he felt happy… at the concept of the couple breaking up.

It was a disgusting feeling.

Mark peered at himself in the large mirror adorning the wall. His complexion looked unusually pale in the overly bright white lights, his california tan bleached under the filter. So this was the look of a heartbroken man left wanting?

Mark felt ashamed about the continued conflicting emotions as well as who he had become over the developing months. Although he was stopped from spiraling into self hatred any further because there was a loud banging that echoed the hallways outside the bathroom door. The noise only growing in volume and getting closer.

The last thing Mark wanted was for someone to bear witness to him while he was feeling like shit. Looked like shit too. He threw himself into one of the closest stalls and quickly locked the door. The red head drew up his feet so they weren’t visible from underneath the door. Just as he settled inside inside the enclosed space, someone had bursted into the room.

A dry heave rang throughout the room, leaving the heavy implication that whoever entered had been heavily crying. The sound of the faucet sink running water filled the surrounding space. The atmosphere felt weighted as the sobbing continued. It looked like someone else was also trying to clean up their appearance and lick their wounds. Mark felt empathy towards the crying as he laid his head against one of the walls of the stall. He kind of wanted to cry himself. 

So he just sat there and listened while waiting for the other person to finally leave so he could exit the room himself. Mark's heartbeat felt like it was finally returning to a normal pace. The moment felt surreal and grounding. It was like a waking from some kind of dream or daze just to return to a painful reality. The minutes dragged on and when the sound of tears became too much for the red head to bear, he peeked through the crack of the bathroom door.

In that small space, highlighted by the bright lights, the person who was sobbing was… Jinyoung.

The silhouette was unmistakable. 

Mark let out a soft sigh. Of course it was Jinyoung, who else would be crying in the building especially after participating in a hard fight. Especially after with the person you probably loved and who was supposed to love you in return. The former didn't know why he hadn't concluded the other's identity immediately when Jinyoung had first entered the room.

Mark just stood there behind Jinyoung, unable to say a single word. Maybe this was their status quo after all. For Jinyoung to be here, and Mark to be there. Sometimes it felt like they lived two worlds apart. Maybe Mark would continue to feel like this until he eventually left Korea and maybe a little after that too. It hurt the red head, to fall in love with someone so extraordinarily beautiful and be unable to express out loud what he felt. The rolling emotions roared under his placid facade.

Jinyoung was so incredibly close, he was right here in front of Mark right now! Yet Mark felt like he couldn't do a damn thing. Again. Not that it really mattered in the end. There wasn't anything he could do to offer the other man any comfort in the first place. Why couldn't he even help the one person in this entire country that made Mark feel like it was worth being here?

Mark really… he really loved Jinyoung…

He loved him. Even when it brought out the uglier sides of himself and these near tears.

The bathroom light continued to filter through the crack of the door. They both stood in place, drowned by these emotions. Mark wondered how many times had Jinyoung cried like this, out loud for all the times when he wasn’t allowed to when Jaebum screamed at him. Fuck Jaebum, if only he would disappear. If only the two of them never got together. If only Mark could do something in his power to make Jinyoung feel better. If only he could do something… if only...

Mark looked away from Jinyoung in shame. As his gaze fell to the floor, the red head realized he was still holding the spell book from earlier to his chest. The spell book... The spell book! Mark must have taken the text in his rush to evacuate the area and just forgotten about that fact until now. He let out a small laugh in disbelief.

A strange thought entered his head. If Jinyoung loved Mark instead, then maybe, just maybe Mark could take take all the pain away?

In a fit of desperation, he opened the spell book. The red head flipped open to the page he had been looking at last, the same garish red design looked back at him. The temptation. It was just a spell. It really wasn’t going to do anything right? What was the harm in trying? And maybe if it really worked? Then all the better! Jaebum didn’t even seem like he cared about his boyfriend anymore. Mark would just be taking the issues out of the other man’s hands and Jinyoung would finally be… with someone who cared about him.

This was all to ensure Jinyoung’s happiness, right? A happiness with... Mark?

For a moment, the red head felt like he could envision a future where everything clicked into place, like maybe everything would finally be okay. It was those kind of intrusive thoughts that sealed the deal. If he really wanted things to change then he would have to be the one to take the first step after all. Mark closed his eyes and whispered softly the spell. His heart pounded so hard, it almost echoed in his ears. It felt like he was covered in cold sweat.

One beat. Two beats. Three.

The moment passed by like a ship in the night. With every second of growing clarity, Mark continued to feel like a fool. He knew that this spell book probably wasn’t real. He really didn’t know what he had been expecting. Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes and he smiled sardonically. That’s what he got for hoping.

Mark closed the book with a heavy thump.

Although what he hadn’t counted on was how quiet the room had grown. So when he had shut the spell book, the sound had been capitalized in the silence. Jinyoung must have started upon hearing a foreign noise in what was a previously empty room because his rough voice tentatively called out, “Hello? Is… is anyone there?

If Mark’s heart wasn’t beating furiously before it matched a new world record now. He had his bated breath. Maybe Jinyoung would think he had misheard the sound and eventually leave the bathroom? Although to no avail because the brunet called out again, “Whoever is in here, come out!”

Mark contemplated for a second about continuing his silent act, but ultimately knew it was useless. There wasn’t any way to avoid contact, it was time to face the music. Maybe Jinyoung would scream at him for witnessing the other’s breakdown. Mark decided no matter what happened he would just accept the consequences. He’s the one who buried his own grave by hiding in here after all.

Mark took a deep breath and pushed open the stall door. He took a step into the bright light, feeling like he had been striped bare. 

His eyes caught Jinyoung’s just as the other man was raising his head from the sink, through the reflected glass of the mirror. Jinyoung had looked startled to see there was someone actually here, his mouth dropped open in surprise.

Their gazes remained locked and Mark had felt like he was unable to look away for even one second. It felt like electricity had coursed through his body, captured in the other’s sight. Like the first time he fell in love with Jinyoung. The moment was similar to back then and it stretched on forever until the red head felt like they might be the only people left on this earth.

Jinyoung slowly turned around. His eyes reconnected with Mark’s again, this time without barriers. It might have been one sighted, but it felt wrong to look anywhere but the other man. It felt like whatever Mark had been waiting for was finally coming into fruition. The other shoe had finally dropped. He just wasn't sure if this was the conclusion anyone had been looking for.

The brunet raised his hand and started to stumble over to Mark on unsteady feet.

Mark flinched. This could be that final outburst he had been waiting for. Instead he felt solid arms wrap around him. The touch was so achingly gentle, Mark stood there in disbelief as he realized that Jinyoung was actually hugging him. The other man’s embrace felt like it finally tethered him to reality. There was no mistaking the inexplicable warmth of Jinyoung's body pressed against his own. The beautiful face Mark had grown to love was now buried in the hollow of Mark's neck.

He wondered, if it was alright to accept such affection. It had been such a long time since Mark hugged someone else. The psychical affection stirring up memories of the last time he saw his family at the airport as they said goodbye and hugged him when he was leaving for school. Really, it felt overwhelming to be so close to someone you love and know that they're actually here. It was something that he would never take for granted again.

Jinyoung pulled back his head to smile widely at Mark. The crinkles near his eyes forming the same they had so long ago. The solid presence of Jinyoung's hands slowly slid from Mark's back until they were cupping his face.

They continued to stare at each other, the red head mirrored the other man's broad smile. Mark's image was reflected in the beautiful darkness of Jinyoung's eyes. He thought, "You’re finally looking at me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say that Jaebum isn't actually a bad guy. We have to take into consideration about whose telling the story at the moment and their perspective. I've worked really hard on this new chapter so I hope everyone likes it! I really appreciate the people who helped me like usual on how to make my writing better! I feel a little redundant on writing Mark because sometimes it feels like all he cares about is love, haha.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for taking so long with this chapter! This past week has been all finals so I've been swamping with studying. Along the way I got hit with a terrible writer's block, so I kept trying to rewrite this chapter. I must have rewrote it over ten times now that I feel like it doesn't make sense anymore.
> 
> Anyways, thank you as always to the wonderful people that have helped me write this story. You've both been really patient as I tried to figure everything out and constantly asked for advice.

_“You’re finally looking at me.”_

Mark held his breath for one, and then another. In that moment, nothing felt more real than Jinyoung’s grasp around him and honestly? Nothing else mattered. The sensation of being the sole focus of the other man’s undivided attention was overwhelming. Mark idly wondered if this was what Jaebum felt every single day. The intensity and sincerity in those dark eyes were beyond anything he could have imagined.

He just knew that, within this moment, his feeling were being reciprocated. That must have meant the love spell had actually worked. Although he wasn’t really given another chance to think about the circumstances before Jinyoung pulled back. The other man took an unsteady step away, creating space between them.

The world felt muted in that moment while Jinyoung flushed a pretty pink. The brunet’s smile was a little more subdued, but no less bright, “Did you feel that? When our eyes met? This might sound strange to you, but I felt like when I looked at you, I… I think I’m in love with you.”

The confession was spoken so earnestly. It was the way Jinyoung hesitated over the right words to say, the way the other man looked at Mark with love. His eyes almost appeared _red_ in the strange overhead lighting. Mark had never seen this side of Jinyoung before. It felt like a comprehensive picture rather than pieces of a carefully crafted puzzle. A step away from the perfect person the latter has always presented himself to be. Strange, it was so strange. Mark had never thought of Jinyoung as this kind of person before. Maybe it was because he never really knew the other man after all.

This newfound mystery in front of him was charming nonetheless. Which why it was a shame that the perfect moment was abruptly ruined when Mark blurted out his own reponse.

“Oh um, thank you…?”

This clearly wasn’t the reply that Jinyoung had been looking for after such a grandiose confession. The shift from elation to devastation on the other man’s face might have been more comical had it not mirrored Mark’s own despair at the moment. What use was there for words when he was just going to go ahead and fuck it up? The great poets before his time were probably rolling around in their graves. Years of mediocre english classes gone to waste.

Mark took a deep breath and tried to find the right words, “Wait I’m so stupid. I meant-I mean… I’m actually in love with you as well. I really really like you. So it made me really happy to hear that you feel the same way about me. When I looked at you for the very first time, I knew that… life was never going to be the same ever again.”

The words felt awkward on his lips. Like a foreign sincerity that he never meant to say out loud. Nevertheless, those sentiments were his heartfelt feelings. If he was going to be completely honest, it was kind of an exhilarating rush to get all the words out. Mark could feel a heated blush of his own resurface to his face.

Jinyoung instantly looked relieved upon hearing Mark’s own confession, “This feels like destiny. This feels like… maybe I was made to love you.”  
  
Well… Jinyoung wasn’t exactly wrong.

Mark felt the familiar sensation of cold sweat come back over him, as well as the internalized screaming going off again inside of his head. This was probably going to be a recurring theme throughout the day, he could tell. He started to question his own motives. Honestly, what the hell was he even doing? Mark definitely shouldn’t have casted that stupid love spell in the first place, but how was he supposed to know it was actually going to work? Jinyoung was actually being forced against his will to love Mark. Wasn’t that against some moral principle or code?

Logically, it was wrong to make someone love you, but… Why did it feel so right when Jinyoung gazed at him so affectionately?

The other man continued to speak in a husky voice, “I’m sorry. For all of this. I must look like a mess right now. I mean, I sound like a mess right now. I’m usually a lot more collected than this. It’s just so funny though. We declared our feelings for each other already and I don’t even know your name.”

Mark smiled despite it being all so bittersweet. Of course Jinyoung didn't known his name. The other man had never been aware of the latter’s existence until these past few minutes. It was sobering. In Jinyoung’s head, they’ve never even introduced themselves before. As far as the brunet was concerned, this was their first time actually meeting.

While the red head was achingly aware of who Jinyoung was. He spoke, despite being unsure of himself, “I’m Mark. Mark Tuan. It’s nice meeting you, yeah.”

Mark bowed to Jinyoung. It vaguely reminded him of the first time he saw the other man. This time with proper words. A proper introduction. A proper meeting. More than he could claim to have done the first time Mark had bowed in acknowledgement.

Jinyoung laughed heartily, covering the pearly whites of his teeth with his hand, “Ahahaha. Mark, huh? I’m Park Jinyoung. It’s really nice to meet you as well. Mark, I’m really glad you’re here with me right now. I… I haven’t been having the best day. That’s why I came to this bathroom to well… cry. Even just a second ago, I was so miserable, but when I looked into your eyes I felt okay again. Actually, I haven’t felt this happy in a long time.”

Mark’s world shattered again. And there it was. Suddenly all the prior panic he had been feeling subsided because at the end of the day, the only thing that has ever mattered to him was Jinyoung’s happiness.

This was all the justification he needed in the world. Maybe this was just an excuse for his continued selfishness and self denial. But if Jinyoung didn’t have to suffer for one more day, then what did it matter how Mark went about achieving those ends. Maybe this was the best choice. Honestly, who even knew if the spell wasn’t going to last. There was always a chance that the magic casted over the other man wouldn’t last longer than a day, if not a couple hours.

Mark could investigate how a simple love spell worked in the first place another time, what mattered the most was what was in front of him. As much as he loathed to admit it, he would be damned if he didn’t take advantage of the situation while it lasted.

He chose his next words carefully, “I’m glad I could be here for you then. No one deserves to cry like this, especially not you, Jinyoung.”  
  
Jinyoung looked at him strangely for a second, before another blinding smile made its way on his face. For Mark, it was like looking into the actual personification of the blinding sun. He wondered if he was going to have to get used to that. It seemed boggling to think there would be a day that the red head could look at the other's smile and think of it as ordinary. 

“Thank you. No one’s ever really told me that. Your words… they mean a lot to me.”

Mark couldn't help, but return the brilliant grin. His cheeks started to hurt from the happiness brimming inside of his chest. This felt like validation. This felt like he really was making the right choice.

Jinyoung continued speaking, “Would you…?”

The other man paused momentarily, looking a little uncertain. Jinyoung bit his lip like he was afraid of the words he wanted to say out loud. Mark took advantage of the hesitance to tentatively grasp Jinyoung's hands in his own. He peered up at the other in encouragement. 

Their hands locked together trembled slightly before Jinyoung looked into Mark’s eyes again with a firm resolution, “Will you go out with me? I can’t stand the thought of being apart from you. This feeling, I really don’t want to let go. I don’t want to be with anyone else. But is this… too sudden…?”

“No! I mean no to the last question! It’s not really sudden at all!” Okay it was a little sudden, but Mark could hardly afford to reject the other man. He would never get another chance like this. Mark pressed forward, hefting his Jinyoung’s hands higher to his chest, “I would love to go out! With you! Actually nothing make me happier! We only live once, there isn’t point in waiting any longer if we already know how each other feels!”

God, Mark felt like he was really doing the most, and by that he meant the absolute worst. He found that he didn’t really mind when Jinyoung beamed again, looking about as besotted as Mark felt at the moment.

It was like a new high, an amazing moment before the roller coaster took them down again as the other man’s expression dropped.

“Jaebum.”

Fuck that’s right. Jaebum. Mark had completely forgotten about the utter tool. The other woman to his Taylor Swift. 

“I forgot in all the excitement, but I actually already have a boyfriend. His name is Im Jaebum. We were just fighting earlier today. The two of us, we've been together for a long time, but things haven’t been going well recently. Well actually they haven’t been doing well for awhile now. I could never explain exactly why until just now. I… what should I do? I love you so much, even though we just met… even though we just… hrm…”

Jinyoung looked confused. If Mark had to guess what was wrong, then maybe the love spell had something to do with it. It would be wrong to take advantage of the confusion. But if there was one thing he wanted selfishly besides Jinyoung’s happiness, it was for Jaebum and Jinyoung to separate. He had already come this far. There wasn't any way Mark was going to let Jaebum continue to make the other miserable.

Mark took Jinyoung by the shoulders, “Listen, you should break up with him and be with me. If Jaebum was really the reason why you were crying earlier, then you shouldn’t stay with someone who makes you sad. No matter how much history you have together, don’t be with someone who is going to make you feel like this. I promise that… if you date me I’ll do my best every single day to give you something to smile about."

The brunet absently nodded, “Okay yeah. Yeah. What’s the point of staying with Jaebum if he's not the one I love anymore. I think I’ve always tried to reach this point, but I couldn’t stop caring about him. I struggled with these feelings for a long time, but when I looked into your eyes for the first time, I felt like he didn't matter anymore."

"Jinyoung..."

The two found themselves locked in another embrace. The warmth was something Mark never wanted to forget. He instantly felt relief and euphoria, among other emotions. Although the guilt in the back of his mind lingered even when he tried to push it away. 

"I'll go find Jaebum immediately. I need to end this between the two of us before we start something new. I don't want my past relationship to interfere with what we have right now. Mark, I really love you so much."

Despite the other man's resolution, Mark noted that JInyoung still sounded a little scared. Loving people and hurting people was scary. Mark understood that well enough, but now he had the power and place to actually offer comfort to the other man.

“If you want me to, I’ll come with you when you go find him. I won’t let you be alone in all of this.”

Jinyoung spoke softly into Mark's ear, “You would… really do that for me?”

With trembling fingers, the latter reached up to wipe the other's tears. Jinyoung responded by softly leaning into Mark's touch. The brunet really was beautiful. It was strange to be staring the other man in the face like this. Just like how it was strange that Mark had witnessed the Jinyoung's fight with Jaebum about…? Maybe twenty or so minutes ago? 

Someone had told Mark before he left for Korea that the most important moments felt like they only lasted for a second. He understood those sentiments now. Nevertheless, he wasn’t sure if he had a right to feel so happy. He wanted to be happy for so long, but when he finally had the chance to, it was stewed alongside guilt. He’s already dug his own grave. To doubt any further would dishonor everything that just happened.

“Well we’re boyfriends now right? It’s my duty to make sure you’re going to be okay.”

The brunet smiled again, although his dark eyes looked a little sad.

The two of them began to carefully pack up their own things. Mark made sure to keep the spell book hidden within his backpack. He had forgotten he had set aside in the stall when Jinyoung had beckoned him to come out. When they left this bathroom, nothing really was going to ever be the same again.

Before they passed through the door, Mark held out his hand to the other man, unsure if Jinyoung would actually take it. He didn’t have to worry for long because Jinyoung interlaced their fingers, quietly bumping their shoulders together in solidarity and comfort.

As they quietly left the library, Mark could see that Jaebum wasn’t in the last place they had left him. He doubted anyone would want to stick around after the huge fight they just had. Despite not saying anything, Jinyoung knew where to go as he led to them to one of the college’s outer courtyard. Im Jaebum’s impressive figure was surrounded by those that Mark could recognize as the couple’s usual entourage.

There was a few faces the red head could recognize from his exchange program. To the left was Jackson Wang, highly revered around the campus as the class clown. He was also associated with the school’s fencing team. To the right was Bambam, a part of the fashion department. The latter had never actually told Mark what his real name was, although Mark doubted he could have remembered based on the one time they interacted.

The other two faces looked vaguely familiar, but for the life of him, the red head couldn’t remember their names or what departments they were affiliated with.

The taller stranger with sandy blonde hair noticed their approach. He greeted them with a childish smile, “Jinyoung-hyung! The mediator committee is here! I thought we weren’t gonna hear from you until tomorrow!”

Jinyoung spoke incensed, “Yah you brat! Don’t speak to your elders that way.”

The teasing did little to diffuse the mood. Mark probably felt more trepidation than Jinyoung as they continued to approach the group. The other man didn’t seem wholly concerned with the way the group’s gazes lingered curious on their interlocked fingers, despite prior worries. It seemed even now, Jinyoung only had eyes for Jaebum.

Mark noted this fact with jealousy. Even with the spell’s new hold, some things never seemed to change.

Jaebum’s dark eyebrows furrowed. There was an obvious question in his stare. For a second, Mark felt like he was intruding on something private that he wasn’t supposed to. He could only imagine the strange image the two of them must have made, Mark trailing after Jinyoung as they stopped in front of the group.

It was Jackson Wang who broke the silence, smiling teasingly, “Who is this, Jinyoung-ah? Your new boyfriend?”

The others jeered after Jackson’s comment. They must have found it hilarious. No one really seemed concerned that Jinyoung essentially turned up with a stranger not even an hour after the former’s fight with Jaebum. It made Mark actually wonder about the mediator comment the tall blonde made and how often did the group witness the two tearing into each other.

Jinyoung’s lips twisted unpleasantly, “Yes actually. This is Mark. I’m in love with him now.”

The other four strangers roared with laughter, tears gathering in the corner's of their eyes. As if they couldn’t believe that a guy like Jinyoung would actually fall in love with a guy like Mark. The wild cackling stung the latter’s pride even though he had his own thoughts about the issue not so long ago. It felt different to have someone else spell out his insecurities. More than anything though, it was a reminder that Jinyoung wouldn’t have even come near Mark if not for the love spell.

There was clearly one person in the crowd that hadn’t taken Jinyoung’s words as a joke. Im Jaebum’s surly glare was trained on the two of them. Before this, Jaebum had hardly taken glance at Mark’s face. Their eyes met uneasily. It might have been some alpha male dominance speaking, but the latter felt that if he looked away now, Jinyoung would never be taken seriously by the other’s. Let alone Mark.

Jaebum finally pushed forward until he was standing directly before them, "Really? You're in love with him now? Stop playing around. I can't believe you. Is this all a funny joke to you? Where the hell did you even get this clown from?"

Whatever was left of the good mood evaporated from the air. Jackson stepped forward to lay a concerned hand on Jaebum's shoulder who shrugged him off.

The larger man was trembling with anger.

Jinyoung looked angry in return, but spoke in a calmer tone, “Jaebum, I really am here to break up with you. I realize now after falling in love with Mark that you and I were miserable together. I’m sorry. I'm sorry that things had to end like this, but I don’t care about you anymore. It took one look at Mark to see that we don’t respect each other like we used to. In the end, it felt like you didn't even care about me, but it doesn’t matter because Mark and I belong to together.”

Jaebum rubbed his the palms of his hands across eyes, "Are you crazy?! Fine then! Fuck you, Jinyoung. You're so goddamn unbelievable. You wanna go around playing make believe with the next idiot then fine. It doesn't concern me anymore. Let's just break up then because I don't give a fuck anymore!"

"Shut up!"

Everyone looked in disbelief of Mark's outburst.

Any pity Mark might have felt for Jaebum died a long time ago, but this was completely unacceptable. He felt like something inside of his snapped. 

"Shut up! You..! You don’t have a right to say that anymore because Jinyoung is not your boyfriend. You never had a right to make him feel like anything less than he’s worth. He’s with me now. So don’t talk about him like that. You had your chance to treasure him, but that time is over. I’ve been in love with him for a really long time so I’m not gonna let you hurt him anymore!”

Those words only seemed to make Jaebum angrier as he tried to respond, but Mark continued to cut him off, “Jinyoung is so beautiful and amazing and talented! He's always considerate and makes you feel like nothing else matters in the world when he looks at you! He's brought me more comfort than anything or anyone in this goddamn country. Jinyoung is so brilliant to look at, you must’ve closed your eyes shut somewhere along the line because I don’t know how you could've forgotten that someone so wonderful was so close to you this entire time.”

Mark trembled with emotion. This must have been the most he's spoken since he came to Korea. It was definitely the loudest he's been in a really long time.

Jinyoung must have been touched by Mark's words because the former tentatively touched Mark's shoulders. The other's smile looked a little watery again, but for a good reason. Jinyoung leaned in slightly, placing his soft lips against Mark's jaw line. He whispered, "You didn't have to do that, but thank you."

The place where Jinyoung kissed him burned. Mark's own face burned red just as brightly, but he didn't care who could see. Jinyoung! With his lips! Kissed him on the cheek! 

The other man looked at him questionably as he spoke in a louder voice this time, "You really meant all that?"

Mark's voice was a little shrill when he answered, "Yeah! I do! Every single word!"

The former turned back towards their crowd of observers. There was a mix of confused and apprehensive emotions displayed across everyone's faces. Jaws dropped permanently from their hinges. Mark was in disbelief himself of what just went down despite actively taking part in it. Although there wasn't much more he could say about the matter so it was probably best that the two of them took their leave. They accomplished what they came here to do, despite the barbed words exchanged.

Mark pointed to Jaebum accusingly, "So yeah! There’s that! I’m gonna..! We're gonna go now!”

His last threat probably didn't sound daunting considering that his voice kept cracking and his cheeks were still burning red. No one made any further moves to stop them. Jaebum looked more flabbergasted now than anything. Mark was kind of embarrassment and a dishonor to his family, but whatever. He made his point. He turned to leave, Jinyoung's hand still firmly in his grasp.

Jinyoung's laughter trailed over them as they made their exit. Mark found that he didn't mind so much that he was probably being made fun of again if it meant he could continue hearing this sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly still unsure of what I've written, but I didn't want to keep people waiting for the next chapter. I've been impatient as well to get the story moving along, hahaha. I might go back and change things later as I continue to write.


	4. Chapter 2.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is coming out so late! I just got off of spring break and have been preparing for a convention. This chapter isn't really anything new I guess. It's just offering things from a different POV without Mark's bias, haha.

The written words before Youngjae’s eyes began to blur together. He could feel the exhaustion wash over as he tried to continue rewriting his lyrics for the hundredth time. The words just weren’t coming together the way he wanted them to. They felt empty without actual meaning. It was like after staring at the same lines over and over again, he had forgotten how to form coherent sentences. He gingerly massaged his fingertips over his eyelids. Every minute Youngjae spent in this room felt like another year off of his life.

He pulled his headphones back around his neck as Elliot Yamin’s soft voice filtered throughout the room. Youngjae heaved a heavy sigh as he rolled his head backwards. His muscles felt stiff after hours of sitting in the same position. He missed Coco.

It seemed like no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get the feelings he wanted across in a psychical form. Albeit, it was kind of hard to express emotions that he’d never experienced before. He’d only had small crushes here and there, nothing concrete.

Youngjae had been writing a love song after the suggestion of his professor that it would test his current limitations on his music. People loved love songs. Hell, Youngjae loved them too, but it was different trying to produce one.

It probably wouldn't hurt to take a break. If he hadn’t gotten any progress with the lyrics within the last three hours then he wasn’t going to suddenly find new inspiration in the next few minutes. His poor soundcloud account was gonna have to wait a little longer for a new addition.

Youngjae checked his phone. Coco’s face on his lock screen was hidden behind a bunch of notifications from his group chat. Most likely just Jackson-hyung acting particularly petty after no one had said anything about the selca he had sent everyone earlier today. Youngjae rolled his eyes with a smile on his lips upon imagining the other man’s dramatic expressions.

He opened up the messages before grimacing. Jaebum-hyung and Jinyoung-hyung had been fighting again. This fact wasn’t particularly new to him, although it might come as a surprise to anyone that was outside the couple’s inner circle. Lately, the pair tended to get into big arguments about once a month. At this point, anything less than that would feel strange.

There had been a point time when Youngjae as a naive freshman had idolized the couple’s relationship from afar. Everyone on campus evidently did. The two of them were a prime example of what actual couple goals looked like. Their love used to be everything that people aspired to have. Moreso, there used to be a time when Jinyoung-hyung and Jaebum-hyung were perfect together. He had idly wondered when they had stopped.

But then again, naive freshman Youngjae was just that, bright eyed and naive. He had been unaware of what the freshman fifteen weight gain was or how horrible morning classes were in a college setting. When he starting school, he didn’t have any friends on campus. He had left everything behind in his hometown and only felt trepidation at the thought of having to make new friends.

Now more than halfway through the first quarter, jaded junior year Youngjae was a little less ingenious. He tried balancing as many afternoon classes he could afford, had a great friend group, and helped play mediator for more couple fights than he thought was possible.

Youngjae couldn’t exactly remember when Jinyoung-hyung and Jaebum-hyung had started to bicker. Although he could recall the small commentary that snowballed into full blown arguments. At first, everyone had tried to remain neutral and allow the couple to resolve issues themselves. Yet as time passed on, the cold war on both fronts remained insistent on making everyone in the area miserable. The couple refused to make up, maybe it was because they were both too stubborn for their own good.

Yugyeom had actually been the one who had tentatively propose that they held an intervention of sorts before things progressed further. Eventually Jackson-hyung had been the one to spearhead the meeting, sitting between Jaebum-hyung and Jinyoung-hyung and making them talk. Youngjae and the others hovered over the three and tried to offer comforting words.

When the couple had finally resolved their issues, Youngjae had felt a huge relief. He had mistakenly believed this was an one chance thing, little did he know that this would be a reoccurring issue. There was never a sense of permanency because before long the couple would be back to arguing over new issues or rehashing old grudges they were unable to let go.

After that it had become a routine they all became accustomed to, though sometimes Youngjae wondered if they were doing more harm than good. Maybe, just maybe, the reason why the couple’s pain was never truly mitigated was because they weren’t allowed to heal in a natural manner. Sometimes making people confront their issues wasn’t the right way to go.

Bambam had justified their actions to Youngjae because the couple hadn’t been able to resolve the issues by themselves without the push they both needed.. That must have meant that the mediating was helping in some manner. Youngjae had thought it over and it did seem wrong of him just to watch his two beloved friends hurt each other when he had the ability to stop them.

It was also just too depressing for the blonde to see the two of them apart. Like looking at something unnatural in nature.

At first, the couple had been adamant about everyone staying out of their fights. Maybe it was true that the arguments had nothing to do with the rest of the friend group, but they all tried to remain firm on their stance. Over time, Jaebum-hyung had begun to reluctantly accept the help whenever things came to blow. Jinyoung-hyung, on the other hand, had remained headstrong about the issue and tried to refuse any assistance.

The text that Jaebum-hyung had sent this time around was short and to the point, stating that he had fought with Jinyoung-hyung again. Jackson-hyung had urged the older man and everyone else to congregate somewhere so they could do the usual comfort committee. Everyone agreed to meet outside near the campus courtyard in a few minutes.

Youngjae looked at the messages with equal parts exasperation and affection. His fingers tapped out a short response, saying that he had finally read the message and wouldn’t be far behind to the meeting spot. He hazardly packed papers into his backpack. He glanced over the love song lyrics one more time. If love was truly this difficult, then Youngjae couldn’t really understand why people fell for each other anyway.

The sunlight felt bright to his weak eyes when he exited the building. He took in a breath of fresh air. The walk to the inner courtyards wasn’t far off from his initial location so he had time to think to himself about what he wanted to say to his hyung. There wasn’t much more left to say when you’ve already said it five times before.

He thought about Jinyoung-hyung and Jaebum-hyung. As separate individuals, they were great. The two of them tended to dote on Youngjae if they were his parents away from home. It helped mitigate some of longing he had for Mokpo and the rest of his family. It was also under the couple’s careful advice that he was able to find the courage to pursue a music major.

Jinyoung-hyung was soft and gentle to Youngjae, but he could be stern when he wanted to be which happened more often than not with Yugyeom and Bambam around. Jaebum-hyung, on the other hand, was surly, but the older man always offered a bright smile whenever Youngjae came to him when he was feeling lost.

Sometimes he tried to imagine what it would have been like if he hadn’t met his friends. Definitely lonelier. He would probably ended up taking classes for something he hated, but regarded as a safe path with a secure job occupation. So he was really grateful to everyone for their encouragement. He would do anything for his friends so maybe that was reason why he wasn’t opposed to helping the couple work out whatever marital kink was disrupting everyone’s life.

When Youngjae finally arrived, everyone had already taken this usual places. Jaebum-hyung sat in the middle, surrounded by everyone one else. Jackson-hyung’s broad hands were on the other man’s broader shoulders while Yugyeom looked a little forlorn by Jaebum-hyung’s knees like a big puppy. Bambam was hovering off to the side so Youngjae slid onto the bench next to him and tried to smile comfortingly towards everyone.

Jaebum-hyung’s face was crumpled into an ugly expression, his lips were trembling although Youngjae wasn’t sure if this was due to residual anger left over from the fight or regret over what had just happened. The larger man seemed reluctant to even be here in the first place which must have meant that it was a particularly brutal fight between him and Jinyoung-hyung. Usually Jaebum-hyung layed low for a couple days before trying to reach out to everyone.

The older man exhaled loudly, “I… I really fucked up this time, didn’t I?”

Everyone exchanged wary glances. Jaebum-hyung sounded so defeated, it must have been hard for the red head to so readily admit his mistakes. Youngjae knew that the other man could be prideful at times, downright stubborn at the worst. The situation seemed more serious than he had originally thought. Jackson-hyung tentatively chimed in, “I’m sure it’ll be fine. Things always are after a few days and you’ve got us to help you out, hyung! Don’t worry.”

The other man shook his head, “No… no this time it felt different. Maybe it’s because I’ve calmed down a little and don’t get me wrong I’m still really pissed off, but after what happened… I feel like things aren’t going to go back to the way they were with a simple sorry.”

Yugyeom spoke softly, “Hyung…? What happened today?”

Jaebum-hyung hung his head low, refusing to look anyone in the eyes. When he did speak it was with restrained voice, “About an hour ago… we were supposed to meet up at this cafe to talk about how things have been going lately. We knew that things have been tense. They’ve been tense for awhile now. We wanted to work things out on our own terms this time. Didn’t want to involve you guys anymore. So I went there and sat at the cafe, you know the one that Jinyoung likes a lot, and waited for him there. When he didn’t come in when he said he was gonna, I started calling him. I started to get worried at this point, I went looking for him…”

Youngjae patted Jaebum-hyung’s shoulder in solidarity, silently asking him to continue on. Jaebum sighed, “You know where I actually found him? In the fucking library. Didn’t even look worried or apologetic for making like an idiot at the cafe. His only excuse was that he forgot the time and had turned his phone on silent. Like are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? I got so pissed off after I heard that.”

Bambam tilted his head and said, “Maybe he really did forget?”

Jaebum-hyung sent a scathing glare towards the younger man. Bambam raised his hands in a passive manner while shrugging his scrawny shoulders, “Okay okay you right. Jinyoung-hyung can be a petty person sometimes. Sometimes being all of the time, he’s the king of petty. We all know that isn’t gonna change so what matters the most at this point is that you guys work this out so it doesn’t happen again, right?”

The red head threaded his hands through his hair in frustration, “Every time we fight, it’s like making promises to do better, but still holding onto grudges we know we shouldn’t be keeping. It’s like every single time something bad happens I can’t help, but remember all the other times he’s done something similar. I can’t figure out why he’s always so mad at me if he won’t tell me the reason.”

Jaebum-hyung slumped over, “Earlier… he said that… He said I’m getting too friendly with other people, as if I would really cheat on him him after being together all this time. He should know better by now. I’m just tired of this… I’m tired of his bullshit.”

The words were spoken through gritted teeth and heavy sighs. It was moment of painful vulnerability that Youngjae had never gotten used to seeing on the other man. He wasn’t sure of what else to say at the moment when Jaebum-hyung looked so exhausted and confused. The tension still present in his shoulders.

He tried to continue where Bambam left off, “Hyung, you gotta believe in yourself. At the end of the day, it’s going to be okay. You’ve done this same song and dance so many times, the next step is making up, right? You guys love each other and that’s what is really going to matter. If there is love between you two, then that’s all you need.”

Despite being the one who had said the words, Youngjae felt like he was offering a hollow comfort without actual meaning. Like reciting off a line from one of Jinyoung-hyung’s stage dramas.

For a second, Jaebum-hyung’s voice sounded like a small child, “Do you… really think so?”

Everyone was quiet. Youngjae wasn’t sure anymore and he wasn’t sure where to look. So that’s probably why he had been the first one to spy Jinyoung-hyung approaching them from the left side.

The older man had a strange expression on his face, one that Youngjae wasn’t sure had ever seen before. It was verging on nervous and excited. Like the other wasn’t sure if he was allowed to smile. Following close behind Jinyoung-hyung was a lanky red head with an apprehensive countenance on his handsome face. The man looked vaguely familiar though Youngjae couldn’t remember exactly where.

He belatedly noticed that the two of them were holding hands.

Youngjae stared dubiously. It was kind of a weird sight. While Jinyoung-hyung had always been kind with his psychical affections, he was wary of strangers. The older man had taken great care of his reputation, holding a lot of people at arm's length.

Even with Youngjae, it had taken them awhile to grow comfortable with simple things like resting against each other. The typical mothering only came out when Jinyoung-hyung had felt particularly attached.

The blonde nudged Bambam who had yet to notice the approaching pair. He probably pushed with more force than he had originally intended because the latter was nearly shoved off the bench. Bambam let out a loud sound of alarm before looking back towards him with a disgruntled expression. Youngjae jerked his head to Jinyoung-hyung and the stranger before staring blatantly at their interlaced fingers.

Bambam squinted at their hands as well before coming to the same conclusion as Youngjae. The silver haired man turned to Yugyeom and whispered quietly into the other blonde’s ear. They tried to quietly figure out who the new comer was, Youngjae muttering that he had seen the man’s face before.

They spoke in whispers as to not alarm Jaebum who had yet to notice although all subtlety was thrown out of the video when Jackson-hyung blurred out what they had all been thinking, “Who the hell is that with Jinyoung-ah?”

Youngjae winced as Jaebum-hyung finally raised his head. The soft expression on his face morphed into one of abrupt fury. Bambam turned to Jackson-hyung, “Way to blow it, dumbass.”

Jackson-hyung shouted back, “Hey!”

In the end, Yugyeom ended up being the one to call out to the approaching pair. The younger man seemed like he was trying to keep his voice jovial and light, “Jinyoung-hyung! The mediator committee is here! I thought we weren’t gonna hear from you until tomorrow!”

Youngjae had figured that as well, Jinyoung-hyung usually sulked around the same common areas like the drama club and his dorms until one of them dragged him out. It was like a small grace period where they all formulated on how to fix the couple’s problems for each adjacent fight. So it was out of character for the brunet to come directly to them, especially since not so long ago he was engaged in a terrible fight with Jaebum-hyung.

Jinyoung-hyung’s expression took on its usual exasperated appearance, “Yah you brat! Don’t speak to your elders that way.”

The brunet and the mystery man stood before them now, no one really saying anything. They all just stared questioningly before Jackson-hyung tried to break the silence with a joke. “Who is this, Jinyoung-ah? Your new boyfriend?”

It was a good attempt to distract everyone from the tense atmosphere, Youngjae found himself snorting. Leave it to the older blonde man to try to diffuse the situation. On the other hand, Jinyoung-hyung hadn’t looked amused at the teasing. He figured that the other man was going to lecture them, but Jinyoung-hyung stayed silent for another second. Instead, the latter looked over everyone critically before settling on Jaebum-hyung.

“Yes actually. This is Mark. I’m in love with him now.”

Youngjae wasn’t sure what to make out of what he had just heard. He looked around at everyone else if they felt incredulous as he felt. This was a joke right…? A really bad prank. It sounded ridiculous. Jackson-hyung had tried laughing at Jinyoung’s strange declaration and everyone else had followed suit. Keyword being tried. Youngjae nervously chuckled alongside them, but the older man’s serious expression unnerved him. Like an ugly foreshadowing to a future event that he couldn’t predict.

Who was this Mark character? The lanky man in question seemed uneased by the atmosphere, shifting uncomfortably by Jinyoung-hyung’s side. He didn’t deny the bold claim, so maybe he was playing along with this weird joke. Maybe this was some poor attempt to rile Jaebum-hyung up. After all, the other man had said that Jinyoung-hyung was mad at the former for getting too close to other people. Some jealousy ploy.

Jaebum-hyung abruptly stood up. The expression on his face grew thunderous. Youngjae scooted further away as he felt cold sweat perspiring on his skin. He’s never been on the end of that directed anger before and he never wanted to be.

The red head stalked over to where the two stood, “Really? You're in love with him now? Stop playing around. I can't believe you. Is this all a funny joke to you? Where the hell did you even get this clown from?"

Youngjae panicked internally, this really wasn't good. The older man’s anger was hard to dissipate. He also noticed that they were starting to gather a crowd of onlookers. People were starting to take notice especially when it was concerning the campus’s golden couple.

Jackson-hyung tried to step closer to lay a worried hand on Jaebum-hyung’s shoulder again, but the latter aggressively brushed him off. The broader man was literally shaking. It was a terrifying sight. Jinyoung-hyung didn’t seem any better off either.

The brunet’s expression had tightened into a fury, but spoke in more restrained voice, “Jaebum, I really am here to break up with you. I realize now after falling in love with Mark that you and I were miserable together. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that things had to end like this, but I don’t care about you anymore. It took one look at Mark to see that we don’t respect each other like we used to. In the end, it felt like you didn't even care about me, but it doesn’t matter because Mark and I belong to together.”

Youngjae stared at Jinyoung-hyung in wonder. He had never heard the other man sound like this before. To be fair, everyone usually caught the end of the fights, but right now there were in the middle of the storm. While Jinyoung-hyung had spoken calmly, the man’s behavior itself seemed erratic which was a strange departure from the complete composure every was used to. The words the other man had just spoken seemed so raw, not a carefully crafted argument.

It was like Jinyoung-hyung hadn’t been acting like himself. The goodbye words had a sense of finality to them. Youngjae was still in disbelief of what he was hearing. It was unfathomable to imagine a Jinyoung-hyung without a Jaebum-hyung, a Jinyoung-hyung who loved someone else.

Jaebum-hyung let out a laugh before scrubbing his hands over his eyes, "Are you crazy?! Fine then! Fuck you, Jinyoung. You're so goddamn unbelievable. You wanna go around playing make believe with the next idiot then fine. It doesn't concern me anymore. Let's just break up then because I don't give a fuck anymore!"

Youngjae sharply turned his head back towards Jaebum-hyung in astonishment. Was the older man really gonna let some stranger take Jinyoung-hyung…? Wasn’t he just asking for help on how to fix the situation a couple minutes earlier? Did he even know what he was really saying?

The man that had remained quiet all this time finally stepped forward. Mark softly pushed Jinyoung-hyung behind him as he growled at Jaebum-hyung, "Shut up!"

Everyone looked at the stranger in amazement. It was like a tournament of table tennis and Youngjae’s neck was really starting to hurt from trying to understand what was going on.

Mark continued where he left off, continuing to shout, “Shut up! You..! You don’t have a right to say that anymore because Jinyoung is not your boyfriend. You never had a right to make him feel like anything less than he’s worth. He’s with me now. So don’t talk about him like that. You had your chance to treasure him, but that time is over. I’ve been in love with him for a really long time so I’m not gonna let you hurt him anymore!”

Youngjae had initially assumed that this Mark was some unfortunate soul that Jinyoung-hyung had dragged along on this weird endeavor, but after hearing the other’s words, he wasn’t so sure. The stranger’s words seemed like a desperate declaration, filled to the brim with authenticity.

The other man was shaking with heightened emotion, “Jinyoung is so beautiful and amazing and talented! He's always considerate and makes you feel like nothing else matters in the world when he looks at you! He's brought me more comfort than anything or anyone in this goddamn country. Jinyoung is so brilliant to look at, you must’ve closed your eyes shut somewhere along the line because I don’t know how you could've forgotten that someone so wonderful was so close to you this entire time.”

How could anyone even respond to that? Youngjae looked around to see if anyone else was confused and found that they were all wearing similar expressions, jaws dropped. Jinyoung-hyung, on the other hand, seemed genuinely touched by Mark’s words. A bizarre expression washed over the former's face before he stepped close to Mark.

Jinyoung-hyung softly pressed his lips to the side of Mark's face and then whispered something into the latter’s ear. Youngjae wasn't able to hear what they they were saying.

He could only continue to stare bug eyed in disbelief. This was something beyond his wildest dreams, like he couldn’t even comprehend what was happening anymore. This was just way too much…

Mark flushed a brilliant red upon the soft touch, smiling confusedly. Jinyoung-hyung spoke louder this time, but he only had eyes for Mark, “You really meant all that?" The other man nodded, "Yeah! I do! Every single word!"

For all the other man's bravado, the red head seemed to crumple under Jinyoung-hyung's attention. The couple turned their attentions back to everyone again as Mark lifted his hands and pointed at Jaebum-hyung, "So yeah! There’s that! I’m gonna..! We're gonna go now!”

The two then left without much more fanfare. The blonde couldn’t help, but stare at Jinyoung-hyung’s face for anything that would betray the raw scene that just played out. Like maybe this was some really elaborate act or some fucked up moral lesson. Instead, the older man was looking lovingly at Mark with tender eyes. He seemed more than happy to follow the brunet as he led them away.

Jinyoung-hyung laughed as if they were eloping like some kind of ending to a movie that Youngjae’s seen before. The laughter sounded happy. Like actually, truly happy. It left the latter feeling something profound, but he wasn’t sure what.

Everyone turned back to look at Jaebum-hyung who looked more confused than anything at this point. Maybe more so than everyone present combined. The way the older man had made it sound like before, they had only just fought not even an hour ago so how was it possible for Jinyoung-hyung fall in love with someone else so quickly?

Yugyeom was the first one to break the long stretch of silence, “What just happened…? I… Hyung! I’m sure this is all just a big prank right? You guys prank me all the time? Are you guys pranking me right now?! Hahahaha! Cause it’s not funny… Right? Right? Hyung!”

Jaebum-hyung hadn’t answered the younger. He just continued staring at the place where Jinyoung-hyung had been. His expression slowly crumbled into an absolute devastation as what just happened started to dawn on him. The rest of them could only understand a fraction of the feelings as they tried to comprehend what just happened as well.

Jackson-hyung kept messing with his hair, questioning what just happened out loud over and over again. Yugyeom looked back Youngjae with large eyes, “Who was that, hyung? Really? You said you recognized him before?”

Youngjae tried to think back where he had first seen that handsome face. It would have been hard to forget such sharp features. As he wracked his brain, it suddenly came to him in a flash. That guy… The one that Jinyoung-hyung had lovingly called Mark…

“Mark… I’ve actually seen him around campus a lot. He’s always by himself, but I remembered him cause he would always turn up in the same places as Jinyoung-hyung. He was always staring at Jinyoung-hyung like he wanted to talk to him, but in the end, he never came up to us.”

Bambam furrowed his eyebrows, “He was staring at hyung?”

Youngjae unconsciously nodded, “Yeah. I hadn’t mentioned it to anyone before because it really wasn’t any of my business and he’s never bothered us before. I thought was just another hopeless admirer or something. Jinyoung-hyung had never glanced his way before so I didn’t even know that they actually knew each other. Do you think that…”

The blonde felt like he was unable to finish his sentence, like he didn’t want to complete the thought himself in fear of the implications. Youngjae had never seen the two of them exchanging glances before, but Mark always stared at Jinyoung-hyung with want. 

Maybe the reason why the latter never looked back at the red head was because they had something to hide. It would make sense because nobody walks away for a few minutes and comes back with an entirely new boyfriend. But the older man said he loved Mark _now._

_What did that now actually mean?_

Everyone grew silent before Jackson-hyung started to loudly protest, “No! No! Jinyoung would never do that! He loved Jaebum-hyung… Fuck, I mean he still loves him!” Jackson-hyung turned back to Jaebum-hyung whose face had grown noticeably ashen, “Hyung! Jinyoung-ah still loves you! You know it’s true…! He’s just…! Right now…! That Mark guy must have done something to him to make him say that!”

Yugyeom started to cry a little. They were all a little teary eyed at the implications. The younger rushed forward to hug Jaebum-hyung, but the latter harsly shoved him away. The older man just continued to stand there, hands balled up into tight fists.

Jaebum-hyung glared at all of them although the effect was lessened by the glassiness of his eyes.

"Fuck off! Don't fucking touch me!"

Youngjae hovered near Yugyeom, placing a comforting hand on the younger's arm.

“Hyung…?”

Jaebum-hyung stormed away. No one found it in their heart to chase after him. They were all still reeling from the abrupt break up they had just witnessed and the older man was entitled to mourn by himself.

Youngjae felt lost himself. It was like watching a car crash and everyone else was still standing in a daze. Like witnessing someone just lose the love of their life, wait no, that’s exactly what happened. The blonde just couldn’t understand. Jaebum-hyung and Jinyoung-hyung loved each other so much. It was unmistakable! Anyone could see how the two looked at each other. Even when they were hurting each other, there was still affection.So what happened in the span of an hour to change everything?

The blonde couldn’t imagine the pain that Jaebum-hyung was going through. A wound that was unlikely to heal for a really long time. It was a strange juxtaposition with Jinyoung-hyung who looked so happy next to Mark. When was the last time the older man smiled like that? Youngjae couldn't remember. He had been happier than Youngjae had seen him in a long time. To the point of becoming almost unrecognizable.

He wondered, if relationships were truly this difficult, then why did people continue to love one another?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I have to give Youngjae that much backstory and internal thoughts? No.
> 
> Did I do so anyways? Yes.
> 
> This ended up becoming my longest chapter and it's not even a continuation of the main story line... I think I promised one of my reviewers that the next chapter was going to be happy, I guess I lied? I'm so sorry... The next chapter between Jinyoung and Mark will actually be happy I promise. I'll probably come back and edit the chapter more later.


	5. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took such a long time to get. I've been getting used to my new class schedule and ran into a huge writer's block. I wanted to get this out as soon as possible for my readers and the people that have been waiting on me so this is being published unbeta-ed. This is the chapter in its roughest form so please keep in mind that I'll probably come back later and tweak some of the writing.

Mark weaved through the crowds in a clumsy manner with Jinyoung following close behind. The two of them had just narrowly made their grand escape under a congregation of curious gazes. The former’s face still felt flush with embarrassment, the only comfort being the heat of Jinyoung’s hand branded into his skin and the heavy meaning of their interlaced fingers.

The utter looks of disbelief were still imprinted under his eyelids, expressions that he felt reflected his own internalized thoughts. He still couldn’t believe what he had just done. His throat had felt a little raw after the explosion, after shouting at Im Jaebum in the plain sight of a gathering audience, in front of so many people and most important of all, in front of Jinyoung himself.

Still, Mark couldn’t find it in his heart to regret any of the harsh things he had spat out in contempt. There wasn’t a single thing he would’ve taken back if he could and in a way, the screaming fit was cathartic. The vindictive side of Mark rejoiced upon releasing all of his internalized resentment and anger. He had been keeping those feelings inside of him for so long. Although at the end of the day, it was like Jaebum didn’t even matter anymore. As if he was an insignificant factor in Mark’s view like some long distant memory that was best forgotten, a trial to overcome on the road to happiness. Mark and Jinyoung’s.

And with each step further away from the man in distance felt like a step further away from reality until slowly, his steps and thoughts simultaneously came to a halt. With the slowly dissipating mixed emotions, it felt like he still couldn’t believe what he had really just done. His chest heaved for air. It had been an embarrassing amount of time since he had last exercised, his studies had taken priority over anything else.

Eventually Mark remembered Jinyoung’s presence although it was admittedly hard to ignore when the younger man stayed pressed up against him. He finally looked back over his shoulder at the other, Jinyoung’s lighthearted visage was a sight to behold. The pleasing smile was contagious as it struck his heart and Mark couldn’t help, but mirror the expression back. The same adorable crinkles appeared near the corners of Jinyoung’s eyes as the brunet lead him by hand to a nearby cafe.

The younger man gestured for him to sit down in one of the uncomfortable patio chairs as Mark gave him a questioning look, but Jinyoung waved away the stare with a secretive smile.

He tried to relax into the chair as the other man walked through the coffee shop’s only door. The latter taking every couple of seconds to glance backwards towards Mark through the store’s windows as if affirming to himself that the red head was still there. Mark tried to meet Jinyoung’s inquiring looks with what he hoped looked like a smile of confidence which was probably mitigated by his shy waves of reassurance. Despite all the strange circumstances, he couldn’t help the dopey expression spreading over his face.

It was probably ridiculous to be flirting like they were in middle school, their actions pure and lighthearted. In spite of all the lingering pain that had casted a shadow over them both, it was like hazy dream that Mark never wanted to wake up from and maybe in a way, it was horrible of him to feel so happy although he couldn’t deny the warm feelings inside of his chest.

Jinyoung finally returned with two different drinks in his hands, “Here, it’s my treat. Sorry. I wasn’t sure what kind of drink you liked so I guessed a little.”

The brunet placed what looked like a dark roast americano in front of Mark, leaving an iced latte for himself on the right side of the table. Mark thanked Jinyoung despite wrinkling his nose at the choice of coffee. He usually took his drinks a little lighter, but he couldn’t find it in himself to complain out loud. It was a gift after all. He took a tentative sip before grimacing at the taste. 

“Off the mark?” Jinyoung chuckled, “You can have some of mine then, I don’t mind.”

Mark tried to reject the kind offer despite already pushing the americano off to the side, the bitter taste lingering on his tongue. They finally settled down into their chairs where a moment of newfound silence began to fill the space between them. The quiet wasn’t exactly uncomfortable although the atmosphere was arguably awkward. He was unsure of what else to say at this point.

The adrenaline had been slowly winding down, as well as his earlier confidence. It occured to Mark that he never thought he would get this far even spatial range wise, let alone get into such close proximity with the other man. His own fantasies never had a beginning point along a moment of continuation and an already established relationship. Also imaginary Mark had always been more of a smooth operator in comparison to real Mark.

He tried interjecting, but Jinyoung spoke at the same time.

“So uh-” “I just wanted to say-!”

They both began to awkwardly laugh at their own fumbling. Jinyoung had shyly looked back down, his fingers tracing the rim of his coffee cup, “Sorry. I’m sorry, you can go first.”

Although despite the younger’s prompting, Mark had found himself lost for words which was a stark contrast to the bravado he had shown earlier. The stagnated air between them was bogged down by the strange atmosphere and his own insecurities. It was honestly ironic all things considering. Gazing at Jinyoung had always given him comfort. Just being near the other man gave him the strength like he could cross valleys, swim across rivers, and fight fifteen Im Jaebum’s with just a butter knife, but now that Mark was actually on one on one terms with the latter, he had no idea of what to say.

He bit his lip. It seemed like whatever dark magic he had unintentionally tapped into earlier hadn’t changed a single thing about himself or anything brewing internally under the surface. The few seconds that he had when glancing at the mirror in the bathroom earlier showed that he looked the same, sallow and sweaty. The world hadn’t changed and neither had Mark, just the way Jinyoung looked at him.

And at the end of the day, he was still a pathetic loser.

Mark balled his hands into a tight grip underneath the patio table. These past few months, he had been frustrated about a lot of things, but never had he felt more angry about his own inadequacies. Although his pity party was broken up by the sound of metal scraping against concrete.

He looked up just in time to see Jinyoung finish moving his own chair so they were sitting side by side. There was hardly any space between their chairs, more so when the younger man finally sat back down. Mark shifted in discomfort and confusion, but the other man had just sent him an imploring look and a cheeky smile.

Jinyoung carefully slid his arm under Mark’s, hooking their elbows together. The latter hesitantly stared at the brunet, eyes flickering between their bodies and the bright expression on the other’s face. After a moment of deliberation and a trembling hand, Mark placed his own on top of Jinyoung’s. The touch becoming a little more familiar than it did before.

The brunet let out what sounded like a sigh of contentment, “If you aren’t comfortable talking with me… then that’s okay because I can carry the conversation. And all heaviness aside, I feel like we’ve done a lot of things out of order. So let’s try this again one more time.”

Jinyoung bowed slightly towards Mark, “Hello. I’m Park Jinyoung. I’m originally from Jinhae-gu. I’m a member of the drama department as well as a third year student. I was born in 1994. I like the color white, long walks on the beach, and one of my favorite things to do in my spare time is finding new books to read. And I’m in love with you. It’s nice to meet you.”

The words were said in a formal manner, but the tone left the implication that Jinyoung was just teasing him. It honestly sounded like something out of the introduction texts from when Mark had still been learning Korean and how to differentiate hangul. He couldn’t help, but relax a little after the strange ice breaker though it occurred to him that was probably the younger’s intention all along.

Mark bowed in return, “It’s nice to meet you as well… I’m Mark Tuan or well I guess, Tuan Mark? I’m from LA and I’m apart of the international student exchange program. I guess that’s pretty obvious already, yeah…” 

He started to trail off, but Jinyoung’s smile had widen in encouragement for him to continue, “I’m a fourth year student. I’m focusing on an Asian studies degree with a concentration in Korean, but I’m not even sure what I’m really gonna do with it. I was born in 1993. I like the color red and my favorite hobby is snowboarding.”

It was a bland introduction, but Jinyoung seemed riveted by his words nonetheless. The other’s expression was earnest with rapt attention as if anything Mark had to say was truly fascinating. The latter took the next beat of silence to take in the lack of psychical space between them and the quiet psychical affection. Jinyoung had seamlessly slid up against him without hesitation, as if he had done this a million times. 

Mark had always seen the younger man dote on other people before, but not to this extent though it could be the love spell working its magic. Or maybe this was just Jinyoung trying to act cute and succeeding by a wide margin. Mark had found himself flustered under the attention nonetheless in spite of his own actions growing increasingly more halted, little less sure of unsure of himself. Well, more like a lot more unsure of himself. It was like he was an awkward pre-teen at a school dance again who didn’t know where to put his hands on his date for the first time.

The red head tried to carry on the conversation anyways, “So drama club, yeah…? How is that going? I heard you guys were gearing up for another performance soon. Although I’m sure anything you’re in will be good.”

Jinyoung’s face had always been beautiful and Mark had seen a wider range of emotions the last few hours than he had the entire time observing the other man, but that moment, the latter’s expression truly came alive in a way that Mark couldn’t have even fathomed before.

The younger man started speaking about the upcoming play with passion in his eyes, “Yes! I got one of the prominent roles in the next production. It’s a story about inspired about some Joseon classical tales that we decided to weave together. One of my senior’s got the leading role and I’m playing the younger version of that character. We decided to go with something more contemporary so it’ll be a little more difficult expressing the scenes because we don’t have reference to go off of.”

Jinyoung continued to ramble on about the play, his dedication and devotion to the craft was frank his his words. The brunet was so cute. It was also nice, hearing the younger’s voice fill the space. Listening to Jinyoung speak felt like a privilege, something that made Mark feel a little more emotional. He wish he could find something he was passionate about as the other. 

Mark returned small commentary to Jinyoung’s stories about the production that grew into proper relies. He eventually began to offer small stories and anecdotes of his own. The conversation felt natural, this must have been the most he spoken in a long time let alone out loud. His throat was probably going to be angry with him tomorrow although Jinyoung had been patient with him despite all the diffidence and grammatical mistakes. It began to feel like maybe Mark had known the younger man all his life. 

Eventually their chatter pettered off, but unlike before the silence between them felt natural and fulfilling as if each other’s presence was enough. 

Jinyoung turned his head back in Mark’s direction. The brunet nodded in a thoughtful manner before smiling mischievously, “Mark-hyung, is it alright if I call you that? There was something I had wanted to ask you earlier and I’m dying to know the answer.”

Mark peered curiously at the younger man, taking a tentative sip of the lukewarm americano in spite of himself, “I guess since I’m older than you after all, but you don’t have to feel obligated to. And sorry about that earlier, I forgot you also had something to say. Go ahead and ask, I’ll try my best to answer.”

Jinyoung continued smiling, that in retrospect Mark would later come to learn what this expression really meant. 

“So Mark-hyung, how long have you been in love with me?”

Mark choked on his drink, “Wh-what?!”

Jinyoung leaned in closer, “You heard me. How long have you been in love with me? When you were talking earlier… when you were defending me you said all these kind things and then you said that you had been in love with me for a really long time. So I wanna know, how long?”

The brunet’s tone was hardly accusatory, more curious than anything as Jinyoung began to trace comforting patterns into Mark’s hand and stared deep into his eyes. The latter continued to sputter, desperately trying to regain his breath and grounding. He had completely forgotten about what exactly he had been screaming about earlier. The words had just strung themselves together and he basically outed himself.

It took another couple of minutes to recompose himself to the other’s unending patience although that might have been helped by the fact the brunet seemed to find amusement in Mark’s red cheeks and adamant embarrassment. 

He wondered if it was too late to run away as he tried to start the inevitable conversation, “I.. well… you see… uh…”

Jinyoung chuckled in spite of himself before holding a hand to pause the conversation. The latter looked at him now with tender eyes, “Speak to me slowly, I’m all yours. I’m not going anywhere.”

It was frank. Sincere with simplicity and Mark thought that Jinyoung deserved some form of the truth about who he really was and what had been on his mind this entire time. He took a deep breath, “Jinyoung… It’s true, I’ve been in love with you for awhile now. Maybe this is gonna sound strange or even creepy, but I’m really happy that you’re here with me right now. I knew about you before you knew about me, I guess.”

It was hard getting the words out, “When I first saw you, it was at a party near the beginning of the semester. I guess you can’t count that quantifiably as a long time, but for me it feels like forever ago. I came by myself and the room felt so stifling, but then I saw you. You only gave me a small greeting and a smile. It was probably nothing to you, but for me, it was like the world stopped and started again with you. I’ve always heard your name being thrown around campus, but I never took the time to search out for you until that moment and then suddenly, I saw you everywhere. It felt like fate.”

Mark continued rambling on, “Ever since I came here, it’s been difficult speaking to anyone. I’ve always been unsure of my words and was afraid of saying the wrong thing, especially in another language so after awhile, I stopped speaking. I had left everything to come here and I really started to regret it. I stopped attending classes and just holed up in my room. But after seeing you, it was like I was given the strength to face another day.”

He looked at the other man, feeling deeply ashamed, “I watched you every day and I fell a little more in love with your smiles, your laughter, even your sadness when you thought no one was looking. You’ve given me so much happiness without exchanging a single word so that’s why I got so angry with Jaebum, I guess. No one… no one should ever treat you less than your worth, okay? Because you’re so beautiful and I want to give you a measure of the comfort you brought me.”

Jinyoung’s face looked solemn now, nodding slowly as he took everything that had Mark had said in. There wasn’t a single expression of disgust on the other’s face, just careful consideration for a man who had put a spell over him. It was this consolation that felt undeserved, and that hurt more than seeing Jinyoung’s arms hugging Jaebum’s waist.

Mark idly wondered out loud, “To look at you like this without innocent eyes and to feel things on your behalf without your permission… I had wondered if maybe I was a horrible person for wanting you nonetheless…”

As he trailed off, Jinyoung gingerly laid his head into the crook of Mark’s neck before speaking softly, “Is this okay?”

Mark wondered when was the last time he felt so safe in someone’s hands. Everything had felt dull in comparison and never before had he felt so alive. The solid weight of Jinyoung pressed against him reassured that he was still here, like maybe it was the right decision to come to Korea after all. Like every single doubt felt nonexistent when Jinyoung looked at him so gently that Mark felt like he would never love the same ever again. He closed his eyes and finally croaked out a response, “Yeah… yeah this is okay. It’s more than okay.”

After a moment Mark finally looked back down at Jinyoung who was looking back at him with watery eyes and a sad smile. It was probably the other’s desperate attempt to look reassuring. Mark felt like he would give anything to make sure Jinyoung’s happiness was here to stay even if everything began on a farce, false love spells and all.

Hell, maybe the spell wouldn’t even last longer than a day and this would come back to bite him in the ass. Mark decided to brush aside the possible consequences and thought that if the time he was allowed to love Jinyoung was only this much, then he would love the other man as hard as he could with all his heart.

There was only one more thing to ask, “Jinyoung, I wanted to know if you… if you regretted what happened, what I did. You just broke up with Jaebum and I know I encouraged you or maybe I compelled you to do so and that’s something that you can never take. Honestly, I’m in disbelief of what just happened still.”

The other man looked pensive, “No. I don’t regret anything. It’s not something you pushed me to do, it’s something we did together. I feel like… well it’s hard to describe, but for the first time in forever, a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Like this was the conclusion to a long story that I’ve always fought against because I was in denial, like I always knew I couldn’t be with Jaebum forever. And looking back with a clear perspective, I think I was scared and because of that, I did things I know that hurt him. I… I only found resolution to end things when I looked into your eyes, I suppose.”

Jinyoung’s gaze turned into the distance, his eyes seemed gentle in a way that felt bittersweet, “I’m happy with how things turned out so thank you… for being here with me. I don’t think I could taken that step forward alone.”

The weight of the younger man’s words felt heavy. Happiness came at a heavy price. Mark never knew that Jinyoung felt like this although he doubted anyone really knew. He wondered if even Jaebum had any inkling about all the emotions that laid beneath the surface. It was a telling moment of vulnerability.

It was also a verbal reminder as well for Mark that there were some things that he couldn’t take back either. 

They remained intertwined for awhile as their drinks dwindled down into puddles of ice. They eventually made a move to get up and leave the cafe, the sun was finally starting to set. They had spent the entire afternoon chatting. When Jinyoung did speak again, his tone sounded worlds away from the serious inflection from earlier.

"So now that I'm your boyfriend, I'm going to have to start making demands."

Mark looked dubiously at the younger man, “D-demands?”

Jinyoung nodded seriously, “Demands. I was thinking that we should go on a date. I don’t mind taking it slow, but I want to go out somewhere with you.”

Mark couldn’t help the ugly smile spreading across his face.

A date. A date with Jinyoung. It was probably more than he could ever ask for although he ended up questioning the other man anyways, “You…? You don’t consider this a date”

It was strange to joke around in a jovial manner and for a second he considered taking back what he just said, but Jinyoung swatted at his arm in reprimand, “No! I mean like an official date!”

Mark took a long second to think to himself that he could get used to this. He eventually nodded in consideration, "Okay then I'll take you soon."

Jinyoung leveled him with a pointed stare in response, a deep set pout appearing on his lips. Mark couldn't help, but finally laugh out loud upon seeing the other's expression. It was a strange departure from the image the brunet had built himself around. Just a day into the relationship and they were already comfortable enough to poke fun at each other. It felt right, like this was the way things should always be.

"Friday?"

The younger man finally looked satisfied with Mark's answer, "Friday."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The two of them are finally getting to know each other! I wanted them to have a solid foundation despite the rough start. Sorry again this took so long to come out, I have an intensive writing process where I rewrite every single page of the chapter at least three or five times until I'm satisfied with the flow. I actually just added two or so pages and rewrote the entire thing again just today so now my head hurts.
> 
> I'm still not sure how I feel about this chapter honestly speaking. I'm glad some people like Youngjae's point of view from the previous chapter. I don't actually intend for him to become a main character, just that he had some insight to offer about the situation from a neutral space. Although I did give him more of a voice and backstory than he really needed, haha.
> 
> I hope to add another member's point of view to this story eventually!


	6. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How it really been almost a month since I've last updated? Sorry for the gap in time between these last few chapters, it's the final crunch time during school then I'll be more free to write. A huge portion about why this chapter took so long was because I had serious writer's block about what I wanted to do with MarkJin's date, but I'm glad I got this all figured out eventually! I hope you enjoy the longest chapter I've written yet.

The days between when Mark had seen Jinyoung last and the anticipated date felt like a haze of anxiety and long nights. Initially, he had been tentative to say something as definite as a goodbye to the other man. It had been like saying farewell to a beautiful dream and the reality of waking up to things remaining the same was scarier than the reality of remaining alone. Although he hadn’t been able to make up any more excuses to linger at the time, after all, every day had its natural conclusion. The sun had already set earlier and Mark needed to go back to him dormitory and collect his thoughts.

They had exchanged phone numbers under the pretense of keeping up promises to stay in touch until Friday. When they finally parted ways, Mark had tried to burn the image of Jinyoung’s figure disappearing into the darkness into his eyes. He felt a little unsure if things had just been a dream or not. The red head had remained in the same spot for awhile before finally making his way back to his building with a heavy heart. The rest of the night had been wrought with anxiety.

It was only then that he started to come down from the actual adrenaline rush, the feelings of excitement finally flushing out his system. He had been left wondering again if everything had really been some sort of haze or trance this entire time. He had mused over this theory that maybe, tomorrow might break the contingency of what happened that day. Like a fairy tale story where everything would eventually snap back into place once midnight struck and he would be Cinderella without a prince. Maybe the love spell only lasted for so long.

Mark had spent the rest of the night in sleepless fit before finally drifting off near daybreak, oversleeping his five alarms and missing his first class of the day. When he did finally wake up, it was to a good morning message sent earlier that day by Jinyoung.

The text message had instantly allievated any of his previous fears.

And maybe it was something ridiculously small, but the reassurance and relief it brought him was something so indescribable. It was like he could finally function again after holding his breath all night.

From there, he struggled for the next couple of hours on what to reply to the initial message with, actually ending missing his second class as well in the process. He had reconstructed the text over and over again, agonizing over each word and placement before finally settling on on a bland, “good morning to you as well”. Although Mark realized as soon as he had hit the send button, it was already well into the afternoon so the message itself was kind of redundant. Jinyoung had thankfully ignored his blunder with another reply three minutes later and from there they had eventually settled into a routine of comfortable online conversation.

On the other hand, this brought about so many new issues.

The date.

Mark had become incredibly stressed out about the date itself. Every night when he had tried to go to sleep, his mind began to wander and those thoughts turned into apprehension and unease. All of a sudden, it would become two in the morning and he had fifteen internet tabs open about the best date spots near campus. With another ten tabs dedicated to brainstorming new topics if there were any gaps of silence in the conversation.

The entire night before the actual date itself was spent agonzing for hours over the perfect outfit and belatedly realizing how much he had let himself go since the beginning of the school year. His skin was in bad condition from binge eating his feelings away. Pining had been hard to do on an empty stomach after all. Mark couldn’t even remember the last time he spent this much effort fussing over his appearance, but the last thing he wanted to do was leave a bad impression of himself when he was with Jinyoung.

This was going to be the first time they would be able to meet on more equal terms and he was determined to show a better side of himself than the nervous wreck from before.

He was currently waiting in the spot they agreed on after class. All the anxiety over the week had been leading up to this. They had decided on a movie date with dinner together afterwards. It was something simple and easily reachable because all the places they were planning on going was already on campus. Though it meant that a lot of Mark’s research about date places had gone to waste, but he supposed he didn’t mind that much. He was getting the end results that he wanted.

Mark unlocked his phone to confirm to himself if this was where they were really planning to meet for the sixth time in the last few minutes before switching over to his camera app so he could primp his hair again. Jinyoung had said that he was going to be running a little late, but he would be there soon.

This was the moment of truth! The red head couldn’t help, but fridget a little. His heart was beating at a rapid pace. Mark placed his hand over his chest as if to comfort himself, but more than anything, he felt as if he might really die any moment. At this rate, his heart was going to pop out of chest as the minutes began to stretch on forever and the more anxious he became. He tried jumping a little in place to calm his nerves, but his mind was going into hyper drive with a million thoughts speeding through his head. The moment finally cleared when he heard Jinyoung’s voice cut through the crowd.

“Hyung!”

The low voice drowned out all of the background noise. He couldn’t help the smile spreading across his face as the other man finally approached. Jinyoung made a beautiful view as he jogged over. The other smiling benignly, “Sorry, did I make you wait long?”

Mark waved his hand wildy, “No no! Not at all! I just got here myself, really… You didn’t have to rush over…”

He trailed off. Looks like he was already making head way into the first predictable awkward silence without anything else to add to the conversation. His mind was already buzzing with potential ice breakers to spit out, but Jinyoung filled in the gap seamlessly. It felt like the beginning of what was going to become a regular routine.

“You look good today, by the way.” Jinyoung’s teasingly traced his figure, looking him up and down.

Mark choked on the air before stuttering out a reply, “Th-thank you. You! You too! You do too! Look good that is. Um, anyways, are you ready to go see the new Avengers movie?”

Nice going Romeo, he really nailed that one. Nonetheless, Mark made a small note of the other’s immaculate appearance and calm visage. It made him feel a little underwhelming in comparison. He could only hope he wasn’t going to start sweating because of nerves. Maybe he should have gone out and bought new clothes for today. Jinyoung really did look perfect.

The other man had taken the compliment naturally, beaming widely at him. They had made their way to the movie theater on campus, Jinyoung leading him through the throngs of people. The red head wondered if the younger man had went to the movies often with his other friends or maybe even Jaebum…

Jinyoung looked back at him over his shoulder, “Yeah, I’m really excited! I’ve been following this franchise for a really long time now.”

Mark sighed in internally in relief. The Marvel series was a safe and mutual topic that would be easy to talk about. It was already something he had a basis of reference to understand unlike the rest of Korean culture and he had already been loosely following the movies back in LA before he had moved out here.

He tried to continue the conversation, “So who’s your favorite superhero? I never got the chance to ask you.”

The other man let out a hum of consideration for a moment before finally answering, “Well, I think I really like Doctor Strange. His character, to me, was really interesting and layered. His actor portrayed him in such a way that kind of spoke to me. I also just really think his powers are iconic and really cool…”

Jinyoung turned back to him with an impish look and held out both of his hands in front of him, one of his hands moving in a circular motion mimicking the aforementioned superhero before making the appropriately dramatic sound effects with his mouth. Mark could only blink in astonishment at the sight.

He wasn’t sure how to properly respond at first, but he couldn’t stop the giggles that were threatening to spill out of his lips. The small chuckles soon turned into a full blown laughter, bent at the waist gasping, trying to regain his breath. He felt a little light headed, but it was just so funny though! He couldn’t handle it.

The move had been so unexpectedly dorky and out of place, especially with the perfect and dignified image he had always held of the other man. While their first day together might have shattered some of his pre-existing assumptions and notions, Jinyoung had always remained cordial and sly throughout the rest of their interactions so this felt a little like whiplash. It made Mark see the brunet under a new light.

Maybe this was just a sign that Jinyoung was becoming more comfortable with him to act this way because Mark had never seen the brunet act like this in public. Though honestly, it could be the love spell at work because Jinyoung had been overtly casual with his touches the last time they had met, it was hard to imagine there would be any new boundaries to break.

Jinyoung, on the other hand, had begun to pout as Mark continued to cackle. The brunet folding his toned arms across his chest, “Hey! It wasn’t that funny.”

Mark apologized when he finally caught his breath, filing away the new side of the younger man that he had never seen before to the back of his mind. They continued to walk towards the theater, making more idle chatter after Mark had finally been able to coax the other man’s forgiveness after telling him a story about how Mark’s friends had once convinced him to dress as Spider-man for Halloween a couple years ago.

Jinyoung had made him promise to show him some pictures of the costume sometime.

The flow of the conversation between them felt easy and maybe this was just the love spell pushing them in a certain direction, but ultimately it felt like Mark was the one who was making the progress now. His nerves that had been getting the upper hand earlier had slowly dissipating after Jinyoung’s Doctor Strange performance and now he could concentrate on how happy he was feeling.

The red head never knew that life could be this simple, that being with Jinyoung could be this simple. Mark wanted every single day to feel like this, he never wanted to let go of these feelings. It was also these feelings that made him stare impulsively at the other man’s empty hands, wondering if it was be presumptuous to hold it again like before.

Without a single break in dialogue, Jinyoung had taken the initiative to lace their fingers together. Mark looked at the other, but Jinyoung hadn’t made any comments on their held hands, just continuing to walk down the sidewalk and make commentary on their surroundings. Mark wondered if he was that obvious or maybe the younger man was just a psychic. He smiled regardless and squeezed the hand in his a little.

They finally made it to the movie theater where an attractive blond was sitting inside the ticket booth looking absolutely bored out of his mind before spotting the two of them approaching. The man had brightened while greeting Jinyoung warmly, “Jinyoung-ie! It’s been so long! How have you been?”

The brunet smiled in return, “Hey Minhyuk, I’ve been doing well. I hope you’ve been as well.”

Jinyoung gestured to the blond in the booth, “Hyung, this is one of my friends from my history class last year.”

Minhyuk leaned forward in the booth, his arms resting on the counter in front of him. His bright eyes seemed to flicker over towards Mark, leveling him with a curious stare. “Yeah yeah… I’ve been doing good. What did you come for today?”

“We’re here to watch the new Avengers movie. Were there any seats for the 4:35 slot?”

Minhyuk nodded in affirmation, bringing up the seating chart on the screen before proceeding through the rest of the transaction though the blond seemed like he couldn’t help, but steal a couple glances at them. Mark shifted uncomfortably. The worker was clearly curious about their close proximity not to mention…

The blond finally handed them two printed tickets before finally and blatantly gazing at their interlaced fingers, “And this is…?”

Jinyoung must have been oblivious enough to ignore the stare or perhaps just sly enough to remain nonchalant if he needed to claim ignorance later. If anything, Mark would have bet on the latter being true. Jinyoung made a sound of acknowledgement, “Ah sorry. Where are my manners. Minhyuk-ah, this is Mark-hyung. We’re here on a date today.”

Well that was one bomb officially dropped. Mark couldn’t help the flush on his face at the acknowledgement that ended up stammering again, “Ah well um…”

The younger man looked at him with a teasing grin, “Oh? Are you embarrassed to be seen with me, Mark-hyung?”

"What?! No! Not at all-”

Minhyuk interrupted Mark’s outburst, “A date?! What happened with Jaebum?!”

Jinyoung remained frustratingly composed, “Oh Jaebum? That guy? We broke up, simple as that.”

And another bomb dropped. If anything, Minhyuk looked even more interested at the newfound gossip as he tried to wheedle Jinyoung for the details. The brunet had deterred further commentary with a deceitful smile before motioning Mark to leave, making half hearted promises to meet with Minhyuk again soon. Mark could only stare dubiously at the other man. He felt like he just witnessed a celebrity successfully deflect interrogation from the paparazzi by leaving them with only more questions and their own imagination. A master manipulator.

Honestly, it was kind of brilliant. Did Jinyoung learn that in acting class?

As they began to walk away, Mark could have sworn that Minhyuk had turned his cell phone towards them. He didn’t think anything further of it as they walked inside of the building with the theater itself being packed, the crowd still going strong despite this not being opening week.

They had chosen two available seats towards the back of the room and settled down. The room was still bursting with activity while Jinyoung had begun to make some side commentary on some of the trailers playing on the screen, telling Mark that they should go and see them when some of the movies came out.

It was an enticing idea, the dream of a “next date” and all the ones that would hopefully follow. Mark felt greedy even at the mere thought.

As the lights began to finally dim and the film began, Mark had become overtly aware of Jinyoung’s close proximity.

For the most part, his nerves had been put to ease by the easy going atmosphere they had going between them earlier. Now, without words to fill in the silence, his mind started to play tricks on him. He became achingly aware of Jinyoung beside him. The sound of his steady breathing, their shoulders side by side, the body warmth only slightly mitigated by the cup holder between them. The latter was the only saving grace in all of this, acting like the last barrier to Mark’s sanity.

He had a hard time concentrating on the movie, feeling a little out of place when everyone else in the audience started to laugh at something the characters had said. It was like he was seeing everything, but he wasn’t really here in the moment. His eyes started to glaze over as desire began to grapple him. He was overtaken by the strongest urge to put his arm around Jinyoung’s shoulder.

Would it be cliche to do so?

The red head didn’t think anyone still tried the old yawn and stretch technique anymore. Although maybe that frame of reference only applied to America and American dates. Mark began to spend the next ten minutes worrying, holding back his arm as if it would go flying on its own accord if he didn’t keep himself contained. His mind was a wasteland and he wandered through the pros and cons about whether he should actually put his arm around Jinyoung’s shoulder or not. Would the other man get mad?

What it be too soon? Was it too romantic? Did it make him look sleazy?

The train of thoughts were broken by a weight on his own shoulder. He let out a small sound of surprise as he looked down. Jinyoung had leaned his head against Mark’s body. The act felt so natural, as easy as breathing.

In that moment, Mark thought that Jinyoung really was amazing. So, it was really that simple. The weight of the other’s touch made him feel like a different person. Like nothing in this lifetime could compare to the experiences the younger man gave him. This exhilaration and tenderness in all their aching touches hadn’t come without consequence and Mark feared of falling every second more in love with Jinyoung. More than anything, he just wanted to be with the other man.

When they finally finished the movie and the after credit scene stopped playing, they stood up to leave and as they were walking out into the light, Mark could see that Jinyoung’s eyes looked a little red. Had the younger man cried at the ending?

Mark felt horrible for not noticing sooner, though to be fair, his attention the entire movie had been diverted and he hadn’t really paid attention to anything on screen after the thirty minute mark. He hadn’t gotten the chance to look at the other’s face either because he had just been soaking in Jinyoung’s presence next to him.

The brunet sniffled a little, “The movie was really good. There were so many cool action scenes and I found a lot of the acting particularly inspiring, but the ending was… so sad. I’m probably going to be wondering about everything afterwards for a really long time. Though, I’m sorry that you have to see me like this when I look so ugly after tearing up.”

Jinyoung gingerly touched his own puffy eyes. The displeased curl of his lips made it seem like he was more upset about his appearance at the moment than the movie.

It didn’t feel right for Jinyoung to ever feel insecure. Mark didn’t want him to ever feel that way. He spoke a little uncertain, “Well maybe it wasn’t the best movie to see together for our first date, but I’m happy that I got to share this moment with you. I don’t think you look ugly right now. I don’t think there could ever be a moment when you could ever look ugly to me. So don’t feel bad for feelings these things, I’ll just try my best to cheer you up if you’re ever down, okay?

Jinyoung stared at him for a moment, looking a little lost. His gaze seemed unfocused for another second before he flashed another brilliant smile, “Hyung, you sure are sweet with the way you speak words. I thought that you were sprouting a beautiful monologue from a play, though I would be a little jealous if anyone else got to hear you speak this way.”

The thought of ever saying such impassioned words in front of someone else felt embarrassing. These words were for Jinyoung’s ears only, but he kept that fact to himself.

The atmosphere between them had noticeably lightened up even as the sky above began to grow darker. The crowds outside had shrank a little when they made their way to the restaurant. Jinyoung had sworn that the small store served the best hamburgers on campus before admitting that his opinion might be colored by the fun experiences he had there with his other friends. They spent the rest of the time walking talking about some of the wild stories about what went down there.

However somewhere along the lines, Mark had became overly conscious of the fact that there were a lot of curious eyes that began to follow him and Jinyoung. At first, he thought he was just being paranoid because he was already tightly wound up from the date, but there was no mistaking the first couple of phones that were pointed in their direction. He could have sworn that people were taking their picture, a few camera’s flash going off provided him the evidence needed for his hypothesis. He wasn’t sure in the beginning why anyone would be particularly interested in the two of them until he remembered he was walking besides one of the reigning campus kings.

The pointed fingers and whispers behind closed hands made him extremely uncomfortable, but he wasn’t sure if he should mention it to Jinyoung and ruin the rest of their date together. The latter must have been used to this kind of behavior by now with all of his immense popularity though that made Mark more concerned for Jinyoung’s well being than anything. In the end, he decided to keep quiet. They had worked so hard to plan everything out and he didn’t want anything cutting it short.

When they finally arrived at the restaurant, Mark felt famished. He had forgotten to eat this morning because of his quelling nerves and weak stomach. The store’s atmosphere was more than welcoming. Mark could vaguely recognize a couple of familiar faces littering the place. A bespectacled waiter with a slightly accented Korean accent took them towards a table near the window.

Mark tried to rush forward and pull out Jinyoung’s seat for him. He wasn’t sure if this was the proper etiquette still applied when other guys were involved, but it was something he had done back home tons of times to earn some brownie points with girls. Jinyoung seemed charmed by the move regardless.

A coy smile teased on the brunet’s lips. As Mark took the chair across from him, Jinyoung crooned, “Wahhh, I’m dating such a cool guy.”

Mark shook his head in despair, “You… Seriously, when are you gonna let me have the upper hand for once?”

Jinyoung really did like teasing him. It didn’t help that he made it so easy.

“Sorry sorry, it’s just that you’re so cute.”

Mark inquired, “Just cute?”

“Cool and cute?”

The red head pouted, “I wanna be just cool though, I really wanted to show off in front of you…”

Mark mumbled the last line. His bent his head over the cheap table cloth in front of them, he couldn’t bare the thought of the look on the other’s face. Did that mean that Jinyoung didn’t see him as a man?

Soft fingers touched him at the base of his neck, carding softly through the hair at his nape. Jinyoung spoke, his voice soft and considerate, “The man I fell in love with is a very cool guy. He made my heart beat so fast when he stood up for me in a place where I felt like I didn’t have a right to do on my own. So I don’t want to see the man I fell in love with put himself down, okay?”

Mark collapsed into his arms onto the table. Jinyoung began to prod at him with cutlery.

“Jinyoung-ah, I’m really no match for you.”

The younger man snorted, “Well it’s good that you learn this sooner than later. Stop moping, the waiter is coming over to take our orders.”

The rest of dinner went along smoothly. They flirted under store bought fake candle light and shared wild stories about their childhood while feeding each other french fries. Jinyoung ruefully keeping some of them just out of reach before Mark could bite into them. Really, he wasn’t a match for Jinyoung, but he didn’t mind.

He was really having so much fun, he couldn’t imagine their evening getting any better as they waived down the waiter for the check. The same man before returned. Mark had pushed his credit card towards the waiter before Jinyoung could even get the chance to break out his wallet, the younger man glaring at him. They began to bicker over who was going to pay for both their meals as Mark waived the man away. The bespectacled man eventually returned after a period of time with some after dinner mints, bidding them a good day.

It felt like the ending to a beautiful day when they finally heard an angry shout as they were leaving the restaurant.

“Park Jinyoung!”

They both startled at the sudden interruption and looked to their immediate left. Incoming like a hurricane was Jackson Wang. His buff arms bared looking more like a gun cocked to fire than anything and for a second, mark regretted not hitting the gym more often.

Jackson looked thunderous, his normally jovial expression that he was famous for had twisted into a spiteful angry mess. Trailing behind him was a motley crew of worried looking individuals. Their faces seemed familiar, Mark could recognize them as Jinyoung’s other close friends that he had been reminiscing about earlier. Thankfully, Jaebum’s face wasn’t amongst the crowd of people.

“Park Jinyoung! Where the hell have you been?! You haven’t contacted any of us since Monday and you wouldn’t even let any of see you either since then! Everyone was telling me, Jackson! You need to be patient with Jinyoung! He needs some time alone and when he’s good and ready, he’ll come talk to us, but I know you’re too petty for that!”

Jinyoung held up hands up, a little affronted looking, “Jackson-ah-”

Jackson interrupted him, “No! You don’t get to ‘Jackson-ah’ me! Why have you been avoiding us?! Avoiding me?! I thought we were friends, Jinyoung-ah!”

The taller blond of the group hesitantly placed his hands between the two men, “Hyung, this isn’t why we came here. Please calm down.” The younger man hesitantly threw a cautious look towards Mark, but the latter was unsure of how to answer.

Jackson waved his arms in a wild manner. God, those muscles could take someone’s eye out. Mark really needed to start exercising again, he was beginning to feel really inadequate.

“How can I calm down when he’s here at our favorite restaurant with this guy of all people?!”

Jackson making a clear gesture towards Mark that made Jinyoung snap, “Wait! Who even told you guys that we were here in the first place?”

“Park Jaehyung from social media marketing class told me!”

The larger man blatantly pointing at the waiter from earlier that was staring at them all through the restaurant’s window. The aforementioned man didn’t even look the slightest bit guilty as he ducked down behind a counter after noticing that everyone’s attention had been diverted to him.

Good thing Korean culture didn’t have tipping because this Jaehyung definitely didn’t deserve one at this point.

Jackson moved on, “Not only Jae! Everyone who's anyone has been talking about it on campus! I keep getting blurry paparazzi pictures of you two together and people have been blowing up our phones asking us what’s going on! Your friend Minhyuk from history class told Yoon Jeonghan in choir who told Kim Taehyung in accounting who told Kim Junmyeon in english class who told Jung Krystal in business who told Amber Liu from the gym who told Jae who told me that you were here!”

Man, that was a mouthful. Mark wondered how Jackson could talk so much without taking a single breath. The other man had an admirable career in rapping if he ever chose to pursue it.

Jinyoung didn’t seem as amused as him as he angrily spoke, “Jackson-ah! Enough! If people really wanted to know what was going on so badly then they can come up to me and ask what’s going on in the first place!”

One of the other blonds cut in, “Jinyoung-hyung, you know everyone is too scared to ask you themselves. You’ve already been so secretive lately. We didn’t even wanna say anything until you came forward about it yourself. What’s more important is that you’re here with this Mark, right? After breaking up with Jaebum-hyung so abruptly on Monday. Are the two of you… actually serious about each other?”

“Of course we are, Youngjae-ah! Why would you even think we weren’t?!”

Youngjae looked noticeably cowed by the admonishment, “Well it’s just that…”

Bambam who had remained silent thus far, cut in, “We thought this was one huge plot to get back at Jaebum-hyung! The last thing you guys were fighting about was your jealousy issues so we just figured this was some elaborate scheme and that you would calm down in a couple days, but then you started deleting all your photos together with Jaebum-hyung on instagram and you never even post anything anyways so now your entire page is barren! So like, even when you guys fought before, you’ve never down this drastic or final.”

Mark gave Jinyoung a questioning look. He had no idea what had been going on in the other man’s head since the love spell activated or the break up. In the days leading up to the date, the younger man had never mentioned anything about Jaebum nor deleting all of their photos together. He wasn’t even aware that Jinyoung had an instagram in the first place. One would think that social media would be the first place he stalked the brunet, but no.

Though to be fair, Mark couldn’t say he was quite upset about this new development either. The evil devil inside of him was rejoicing at the thought of Jaebum opening up the app only to see Jinyoung’s photos of them together gone. Must have been quite a shock.

Jinyoung regained his composure, “So what if I did delete those photos? They were mine to begin with and it shouldn’t matter what I do with them after I’m done with my relationship. I need to make room for someone new in my life and I can’t do that with his presence looming over my new relationship either. I can’t see them as happy memories anymore anyways.”

The younger man had finished that last sentence with a somewhat smug smile. Mark thought that Jinyoung was honestly perfect. As well as petty. Perfectly petty. Not to mention pretty. Perfectly petty and pretty. It was kind of cruel for Jinyoung to say all these things, but he couldn’t feel bad considering who was suffering the consequences.

The others didn’t seem to take Jinyoung’s words as lightly. Jackson cursing at the brunet, “How can you be so flippant?! You two had been together for years and you’re just gonna throw it all away for a random guy?! How long have you even been together because Youngjae said he’s seen your mystery man skulking around you before! Have you been cheating on Jaebum-hyung this entire time?!”

Mark and Jinyoung both turned towards Youngjae who had waved his hands complacently. Mark could only try to preserve the tatters of Jinyoung’s honor, “We only officially met like less than a week ago…”

It was a flimsy excuse, but he persisted, “and we only started dating the day we actually met. It’ll probably sound strange to you that he picked me, but it was… his choice so what does it matter to the rest of you? Jinyoung has never cheated on Jaebum with me, it was just me pining after him from afar this entire time. All I could see before was that Jaebum was making Jinyoung miserable and I didn’t want to see the person I love feeling that way.”

Jackson evidently didn’t like his answer because his glare seared into Mark’s skin. Jinyoung tried to cut in before anyone else tried to say anything, “What happened between Jaebum and I, is over. I’m sorry that you guys always got caught up in the tidal waves and that wasn’t fair to any of you. You had to play referee for us more than I ever wanted, but I’m finally happy now with someone who makes me happy. So why can’t you be happy for me?”

The rest of them looked weak against Jinyoung’s words, like they couldn’t form an argument against such a strong plea. Finally, the taller blond stepped forward again.

“I just… thought that you were going to always be happy with Jaebum-hyung. Are you… really happy without him, Jinyoung-hyung? This guy makes you happy?”

Everyone grew quiet, anticipating Jinyoung’s answer. The brunet took a deep breath, “Yeah. I am, Yugyeom-ie. I really am.”

Bambam spoke again, “Well there you have it, hyung. He’s not faking it and we seem like we’re just interlopers interrupting a big date with him and his boyfriend. We should just go and lick our wounds for now.”

Jackson whipped around, “But Bambam-!”

The younger man implored Jackson with a knowing look. The latter crumpled after the rest of them made a move to leave, looking back angrily at Jinyoung.

“This isn’t over Jinyoung! I’m not going to speak to you again until you make up with Jaebum-hyung!”

Youngjae walked over and tenderly grasped Jinyoung’s hand. “I meant what we said earlier. We’ll be waiting for you to come talk to us when you’re good and ready. I’m sorry that we interrupted your date with Mark after all. Everyone has been asking us all these questions and you know how Jackson-hyung is. Just please know that Jaebum-hyung has been really confused and hurting. I’m sure he really wants to talk to you soon, but he’s too stubborn to do so. But no matter what happens, I still love you, hyung.”

As Youngjae released Jinyoung’s hand and started walking away, Bambam gave a simple salute and what looked like an inappropriately timed dab. The other one, Yugyeom, threw them one last pitiful puppy dog eyes. His gaze had been focused on Mark in particular, looking at him sadly. Despite the man’s large height, his soft features made him look vulnerable in this moment.

As the last of the crew finally disappeared from sight, Jinyoung let out an exasperated sigh before turning to him.

“Sorry that you have to keep seeing so many bad sides of me tonight… If I knew that things were going to blow out of proportion and end up like this, I would have insisted that we go somewhere outside of campus. I really wanted you just to see the good sides. You… must think I’m some horribly petty person by now…”

Mark took a moment to consider Jinyoung’s words before answering, “Well, I can’t say I was terribly upset about you deleting a bunch of photos of your ex-boyfriend off of your social media. I think I’m more upset about us not being friends on facebook or following each other on instagram. In fact, I think my vindictive side was rejoicing more than anything at the thought of those photos being gone which is probably wrong of me and I should feel pity for Jaebum.”

Mark turned towards the younger man, “If you’re petty, then I am too. I guess I’ve been learning a lot about you today, more than I ever thought possible, but I don’t find myself any less attracted to you with every new fact. Maybe it’s strange, but all these things that happened today, just make me like you even more. And…”

Jinyoung looked at him imploringly, “And what…?”

The red head laughed, “And if your instagram page is really empty, then maybe we can take some new pictures to replace the old ones.”

The other man let out a strangled sound before laughing a little, “Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this concludes the date! It had a couple bumps in the road, but honestly, it could have ended up worse. I didn't have the time to get this all the way beta-ed because I didn't want to keep readers waiting so I'll probably come back and edit some stuff later. So Mark is finally getting to see Jinyoung for who he is as a person and he doesn't mind what he sees! A lot of traits that could be considered less than perfect are charming at times. Imperfections make people beautiful after all.
> 
> An interesting thing to note is that the friend group has begun to take sides! The divide is clearly taking place, but some people are trying to remain more neutral.
> 
> Two things I did want to ask my readers was if I should change the three main character's hair colors because in this story so far they're all brunets. Mark, Jinyoung, and Jaebum. It gets kind of confusing to write sometimes. Also! I've read that Jaebum prefers "Jaebeom" which I mean is the correct spelling phonetically from hangul. Do you guys want me to edit the story and start writing his name as Jaebeom?


	7. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to apologize that it took me so long to update this chapter. I feel like lost myself in the concept and high paced emotions that the two characters displayed that I lost the plot somewhere. Especially since the mood is such a whiplash to me compared to the last chapter's mood. Between school and work, I think I must have rewrote this chapter alone over fifteen times. 
> 
> Actually this chapter was initially a lot longer in length, but I really lost motivation trying to move so rapidly from one scene to the next and the pace didn't feel right anymore. I wasn't getting across even half of wanted to depict so I decided to cut the chapter in half and leave everything that follows the last sentence of this chapter for the next one.
> 
> If you are an old reader, thank you so much for coming back to this story and if you are someone new, I hope you enjoy!

Throughout the weeks following their first official date had slowly lessened the psychical space between the two of them, as well as the emotional distance as well. While Mark had remained hesitant in the things he felt like he was allowed to do, Jinyoung continued stepping past any imaginary boundaries separating them with assured certainty. They had become close, although there were definitely moments where it felt like the latter was still very much the mystery he was in the very beginning, it never stopped Mark from yearning to peak past the curtain of composure. It had been fascinating finding out the different sides to Jinyoung, like an ongoing adventure of trial and error.

Nevertheless, Mark’s own insecurities made him timid. Sometimes he wished had the younger man’s calm and self control, though Jinyoung had assured him that he hadn’t minded the way he was. So instead Mark had tried to focus on the good things in their newfound relationship.

Every night he would pour over their conversations and texts after they had already bid each other goodbye every single night, trying to relive the emotions that came with each message and exchange. Taking the time to go over the small passages made him feel a little more settled, in a place that felt like it was constantly moving. 

But it also those quiet of those nights made him somber, where intrusive thoughts made themselves more apparent. It was those moments that made Mark miss his family back home all the more. Lately, it had been hard to catch his family awake because of the different time zones. Any exchanges between the redhead and even his friends from high school had come to a slow crawl. There were a lot of times that he could have really used their reassuring words in a language that wasn’t so foreign, but Jinyoung’s texts more than made up for it.

Everything still felt like a process and he had only started to make real progress. It was like learning new things about Jinyoung had allowed Mark to learn new things about himself as well. It was the small things between the two of them like the brunet’s brief, but psychical affections. Like sliding fingers through his hair, guiding hands on the small of his back, and the other man’s warmth pressed up against him. It was those kinds of moments that kept him tethered to reality. But for all the other’s forwardness, curiously, Jinyoung had never kissed him again since that first day, since the beginning. 

Perhaps it would have been for the best considering that Mark probably wouldn’t be able to handle anything more than those soft press of lips against his cheek again, especially where he was mentally at that instance. He was too much of a coward to take the initiative, that much was evident that he never declared his love before the insurance of the love spell. The absence of those lips did make a man wonder though. 

Regardless, whenever Jinyoung rest the side of his head against his shoulder, the sensation filled him with so much happiness that he was worried that maybe someday he would float away. All he could do was simply rest his own head against the other’s. Anymore than that and Mark suddenly found himself incompetent. He wondered if only this was enough. It was an ongoing struggle to return such easy tenderness, but Mark tried to make up for it in other ways. 

The first time he had shown up to Jinyoung’s drama rehearsal had been sort of a surprise to the both of them. The redhead hadn’t really intended on coming, but one of his afternoon classes had been canceled. That day he hadn’t bothered to check his student email before showing up to class. He had sat in that empty classroom for twenty minutes wondering why no one else had arrived before realizing his own stupidity. 

Mark felt like such an idiot afterwards as well as finding his afternoon a little bit emptier as well. At the time, he had idly wondered what he should do with all the time had on his hands. It wasn’t like he had any particularly close friends to really call his own in Korea. Jinyoung had been the only person in the same time zone he even felt comfortable talking to on a regular basis. 

It was those thoughts in mind and that same loneliness that made him miss the brunet a little more. They hadn’t seen each other for the last couple of days because Jinyoung had become busy with his upcoming performance and Mark didn’t want to disturb the other’s creative process. Restraining himself from messaging the other man too much had become somewhat an emotional strain.

Before he knew it, his feet had unconsciously led him to the drama department’s practice building. Mark had always noted the location in the back of his mind whenever he walked by in the past ever since Jinyoung had made an off hand remark about it. Maybe it was those same unconscious thoughts that had brought him there because he had only realized where he was after lingering in front of the auditorium doors for several minutes. 

When he finally jolted from the initial daze of dissociation, Mark had made to leave, but the thought of catching even a glimpse of Jinyoung had made him stop in his tracks. He hadn’t asked the other man’s permission prior to whether he could be there nor did he even know if his presence was wanted, he had continued to stall.

Mark had wondered if small things like this would be considered alright. The two of them had been dating for awhile now. He had pondered whether it would be worth it to message the brunet or maybe it be better to make his escape while he still had the chance. 

As he continued to debate with himself, he could distantly hear the voices inside reverberating through the heavy set auditorium doors. The soothing sounds and his own pacing left him lost in thought. Mark must have contemplated a lot longer than he had initial presumed because the noises from inside the room had rose in volume and people began to pour out into the hallway.

Those who walked by peered at him with curious eyes, continuing to throw him some indiscreet looks. While no one actually said anything out loud, Mark could still hear the question in everyone’s eyes, “Why are you here?”

It was the same question everyone seemed to be asking the last couple weeks whenever they looked at him, but no one ever seemed courageous enough to ask him outright. Maybe it was his incredibly unfriendly demeanor that steered people away or his foreign nationality, but whenever he walked around anywhere on campus, he was regarded with the same blatant interest and disregard for his own comfort. 

He could understand why people were curious. The crowds must be wondering why on earth would a guy like him be with a guy like Jinyoung, or maybe they were even questioning the lack of Jaebum’s presence. Sometimes it made him imagine that people were merely scorning behind his back. Maybe they were just laughing at his pitiful state. It made him want to hide behind Jinyoung’s unaffected back, but then he had thought to himself, that doing so would really make him a coward. What use was there in interfering in Jaebum and Jinyoung’s relationship in the first place if he wasn’t ready for the consequences? The least he could do was stand in plain sight of all the searching scrutiny with his head held high. He would let the world know who was it that was really standing by the brunet’s side. 

Mark wanted to become a boyfriend that Jinyoung would be proud of, but he was unsure exactly how to go about it. He wondered what he could do to make the other man happy. Most of his daydreams prior was just to treat the other man better than Jaebum had. Though sometimes the claustrophobic like gazes made Mark wonder if maybe this was what the other redhead had went through every single day. If Jaebum had the same worries he did now. Mark would try to dismiss those thoughts because it seemed highly unlikely all things considered with taking into consideration that other man’s prideful appearance and surliness. Im Jaebum never seemed to concern himself with the throngs of people, at least from what Mark could see. 

Although that very second, he could only continue to stand there frozen under the weight everyone’s eyes. Hesitant to leave because his abrupt exit would seem strange after all the staring. Mark just remained standing, very determined to keep his head down and avoid eye contact while trying to also search for Jinyoung in the crowd.

Eventually someone seemed to realize or at least recognize who he was because they called for the brunet loudly to come out of the practice room. The teasing tone in the stranger’s voice had only doubled the intensity of the audience’s attention which in turn, only made Mark squirm more in discomfort. Though it seemed in spite of his anxieties, those same worries had immediately quelled at the sight of Jinyoung emerging from the doors. The other man finally meeting his eyes and the beautiful smile had slowly spread across other’s face made Mark feel like all the thoughts, the insecurities, and the worries were miniscule in comparison.

Jinyoung had seemed particularly pleased by the surprise visit while slyly mentioning that he wouldn’t mind if the two of them made a routine out of this. From there Mark had begun to get into the habit of waiting outside the auditorium for the brunet to finish up with the rest of the day so they could walk back to the dorms together. 

The redhead never stopped being treated as a curiosity by the fellow actors and backstage crew. Although eventually the faces passing by had slowly become more familiar over time. Some people were even taking the time to tentatively greet him in the afternoons, a bold few even striking up conversations. 

His presence had become a steady staple on those long days, so much so that they had begun to invite inside the practice room to watch over their performances. In the beginning, Mark had rejected the first few requests as kindly as he could, but eventually relented.

From there on, he tended to linger in the back of the room, trying his best to make sure he wasn’t causing any major distractions or disruptions. The few people he had already become acquainted with over time had waved off his concerns with cheery attitudes, saying that everyone should have already become used to audiences by now, no matter how small or insignificant. They told him that Jinyoung would love to have him there and that was enough to convince him to stay. 

It had been happy for awhile, but lately… 

Everything had lead up to where Mark found himself now, watching over Jinyoung’s dignified appearance that was offset by the bare minimum settings. The composed demeanor and the way latter held himself, the way Jinyoung’s gaze seemed to go far beyond the mere space of the stage… It was all striking. Memorizing to say the least. It seemed like no matter who was taking the center of everyone else’s attention Mark couldn’t help, but persistently watch Jinyoung’s figure. He felt as if he wanted to remember this moment forever. 

The way Jinyoung’s silhouette was emphasized by the harsh lighting above only served to illuminate him. It was incredibly evident to the redhead of the clear passion the other man held for acting. The way his body language rapidly shifted between characters, the sound of Jinyoung’s deep voice was a strange comfort that enveloped over as the theater was also blanketed by the man’s sheer charisma. 

As the scene and settings changed to hold focus on a different set of characters, Mark watched as Jinyoung stepped off to the side and into the shadows of the stage, mostly of view. The brunet seemed to be observing his fellow actors with serious eyes, lips moving silently in tandem with the dialogue spoken on stage. Maybe it was because Mark already had an bias towards Jinyoung, but he truly felt like no matter was the sole focus at the moment, they never quiet shined as brilliantly as the younger man. Like everyone lacked that same gravitational pull that drew the audience in. 

For a single moment, he desperately wished that he could share the same space as Jinyoung so he could soak in the magnitude of the other’s stage presence. Mark couldn’t help, but compare the other actors to the brunet. He momentarily took his eyes off the other man to take the opportunity to watch the other main actors. The woman on stage was currently speaking her lines softly. She was surely beautiful and one could say talented as well. She commanded the space, but never quiet owned in the same way as Jinyoung had. 

The same could be said for the other male lead. Mark took note of the other man’s classical handsome features. A face that one might say a thousand girls could fall in love with. There was nothing wrong with the actors on stage, but it wasn’t quite the same as when Jinyoung took the spotlight, speaking with reverence in his tone. Maybe this is what separates the good from the great? Was there anything the other man could truly do wrong in his eyes?

Mark continued to watch the rest of the scene play out before glancing back at where the brunet was last. He was met with a jolt of shock that was sent coursing through his body when he made eye contact with Jinyoung’s own dark gaze. The eyes that had been staring steadily on the stage before him was now redirected towards him. The expression on the other’s face almost seemed displeased. Nothing about the unpleasant twist of Jinyoung’s lips and furrowed brow suggested otherwise. The redhead could only return the frown with his own uncertainty. 

It felt like the other man was looking right through him. 

They stood there frozen until eventually the scene broke as the stage crew applauded the performance and Jinyoung’s attention was temporarily diverted once again. The actors on stage had begun to break into smaller groups, but Mark could only remain stationary, wondering what exactly had just occurred. A cold sweat had swept over him like a tidal wave or maybe something closer to a warning. The redhead could only place a hand over his rapidly beating heart and try to ignore the strange trepidation that had settled into the pit of his stomach. 

The world continued to swirl as he collapsed back into his seat, tipping his head back against the folded chair, trying to catch his breath. His anxiety and senses felt overwhelmed although his thoughts were interrupted by a few of the friendlier club approaching him. It was only more recently that people had become more accustomed to his presence, enough so to strike up conversations. Though Mark had been reluctant to speak at first or really most of the time to anyone because of the language barriers. It had already been hard enough to communicate what he was feeling in English most of the time. 

The small talk he shared with the club club members had mostly centered around the subject and details of Jinyoung’s relationship with him. The girls in particular liked to hound him consistently for stories or comparisons to Jaebum with gleeful smiles and inquisitive eyes. In the same breath, they liked to lap him with praise saying things like “Ah you’re such a supportive boyfriend, Mark.” “I wish my boyfriend would give me at least half the time and attention you lavish onto Jinyoung-ie.” or “You really have to tell me how you stole him away from Jaebum-ah sometime!” 

Mark could only smile nervously in response most of the time. He suppose he should be thankful for the positive attention so he tried to always show his gratefulness, but the words always felt like a lie on the tip of his tongue. Although a small part of him enjoyed the compliments. It felt like validation in a way, something he never knew he had craved up until now. 

The small talk usually stretched longer than what his attention span could really give, but the redhead never had the heart to cut conversations short. The club members usually spoke so fast sometimes he found it hard to understand what they were saying as opposed to the slow and measured manner Jinyoung had always carefully spoken with. It was still nice that people were come to accepting him, enough so that a few of the girls he had become acquainted with had felt friendly enough start initiating small psychical contact like hands on his arm or bumping shoulders. 

One of the supporting cast had her hand resting playfully on his shoulder. Her bright smile eased his slight discomfort, but it wasn’t enough to distract from the heavy gaze that rested on his face like a searing brand.

Jinyong who was slowly approaching them with a displeased frown marring his beautiful features again, his eyes slowly flickering over where the girl’s hand rested on his person. The touch felt like condemnation.

In the beginning, Jinyoung had been overjoyed whenever Mark had made time to watch him at drama rehearsals, but the latter couldn’t help, but notice a decline in the other man’s mood as the weeks went on. Today seemed like the worst of it in that next beat of silence, a blink, before a manufactured smile appeared on the brunet’s face again. The pull of his lips looked strange like something false.

Mark took an uneasy step backwards and out of range from the friendly touch, the girl to his immediate right didn’t seem to notice the curious atmosphere, only brightly greeting Jinyoung. No one else seemed to really notice the other’s disjointed attitude either. 

The younger man greeted his fellow club members, placating them an ease that would be enviable if Mark didn’t feel like it was a warning of things to come. Jinyoung tilted his head towards him, “Hyung? Shall we get going?”

Mark rubbed the back of his neck, “Oh uh… yeah. Yeah. Let’s get going.”

He tried to bid everyone a quick goodbye as Jinyoung had already started striding away, but he felt like he only made things worse. 

As they began to make their way back to the dorms in the darkness of the night, the silence between them continued to grow stagnant and Mark felt a little like a man sentenced to hang like a dog. The weight of words or lack of thereof was comparable to punishment, so much so that it began to drive him crazy with guilt for something he knew was his fault, but wasn’t sure exactly what treason he had committed. He only knew for certain that Jinyoung’s quiet imploring stares left him feeling incredibly guilt, like he had been caught doing something wrong. 

The nervous energy was exacerbated amidst the silence and finally when it felt like Mark would explode if he didn’t speak a second sooner, he blurted out what he was thinking.

“J-Jinyoung… What’s wrong…?” 

The brunet paused his brisk pace, back turned to Mark before finally replying in a measured manner, repeating the latter’s words, “What’s wrong?” 

Jinyoung had the question on the tip of his tongue as if it disgusted him before continuing, “Nothing… It’s nothing.”

The words sounded incredibly insincere, false in intonation. Jinyoung hadn’t so much spared him a single glance as he spoke. It reminded Mark that the cold sweat from earlier had never really left, but the heaviness of this dishonesty was even more frightening. This felt monumental, like the next words that Mark chose would either make or break the situation. His mind briefly flashing over the love spell and mechanics that he had poured over, but the vague wording didn’t account for any of this. All he knew for now was that he had to continue pressing the issue further because if he continued to hesitate, then he would likely never get another opportunity to say something again.

Though it was a miracle he found the courage to speak again, “No… I ah… I know that there is something wrong. This… This isn’t like you. You haven’t been acting like yourself lately and I might be wrong, but ah… I feel like I have something to do with it.”

He briefly lifted his arm to place his hand on the brunet’s shoulder, but thought better of it in the end, leaving the limb awkwardly dangling mid-air. 

Jinyoung finally cocked his head in Mark’s direction, eyelashes lowering for a brief second before that piercing gaze was directed towards him. The sight of the other man’s eyes flashing with restrained anger seared into the red head’s mind. It was frightening.

The younger man laughed a little, “This isn’t like me? What isn’t like me? Do you even know me well enough to say what is and isn’t like me? I could say the same of you. Do I even know you well enough to say anything about who you are? Honestly, what’s the same and what’s different?”

The cruelty in those confrontation words were spat out like poison. Mark felt helpless against their onslaught. He wondered if this was what Jinyoung had been really thinking the entire time and how long had the other man been internalizing these feelings? It occurred to him that maybe this is the moment, that maybe Jinyoung had woken up from the spell and was wondering what the hell was he doing in a relationship with a quintessential stranger.

The consequences of his actions were looming over him, but he refused to accept the reality of them.

Mark’s voice trembled slightly as he replied, “What do you mean by that?”

It felt like he was on the cusp on understanding something, the pieces of the puzzle were coming together, but he still couldn’t see the bigger picture. About why Jinyoung had grown distantly lately and all the surly glares. It still felt like yesterday that they were laughing together and loving each other. 

“What do you think it fucking means?” The brunet continued his tirade, “Do you still truly love me the way you claim to or are you satisfied being pawed at by the masses and all the people clamoring for your attention?”

Jinyoung fully faced him now, blinking back what looked like tears of anger. The view of the other man’s glassy eyes seemed more daunting now than the biting fury from earlier. Mark could only continue feeling helpless and hurt, although strangely… He couldn’t stop the feeling of wanting to envelop the other man in a strong embrace. It was like all the walls of misconceptions were crumbling down. 

It was strange. Mark never thought he would think this, but to see that blatant contempt redirected towards him, bared in angered honesty, was strikingly beautiful. Then again, everything about Jinyoung had always been beautiful to Mark.

Even when the other man’s expressions was twisted into something ugly and his words painted uglier, he felt strangely endeared to the showcase of unfaltering emotion. It felt undeniably human, in a way that was better than the paragon of perfection that Jinyoung had always held close to his chest and the high pedestal Mark had held even closer. 

It occurred to him then that perhaps Jinyoung was… jealous. Of Mark and these supposed clawing masses.

Even the concept sounded so incredibly foreign to him to the point of being ridiculous. Here Mark was, continuing to pine away like a pitiful fool as always even when Jinyoung was standing so close and Jaebum couldn’t be farther away in the background. He had always burned with such envy for so long that even the thought of Jinyoung even sharing a tenth of those same feelings was strange. 

It felt like whiplash. 

But it was that admittance that lifted all the pressing tension of his shoulders. It occurred to him that Jinyoung was trying to be mean, in fact, passive aggressive and petty. It was childish of the younger man. Although Mark had always seen hints of this side of Jinyoung, it was the first time this kind of attitude was directed towards him. Mark couldn’t help but let out a small hysterical chuckle although the other man hadn’t taken the laughter lightly. 

Jinyoung’s body language shifted into something defensive, “What the hell are you laughing on about? Is this funny to you?”

Mark continued to chuckle, trying to catch his breath, “Ahahahahaha. I-I’m sorry, it’s not you it’s me. It’s just that… You and I-!”

The bruent rapidly grew red in the face, “God, you’ve always been like this. You and this stupid fucking distance…! You won’t even touch me, but now you’re going on and letting all these other people touch you?! And now you have the gall to laugh at me?! In my face?!”

Mark wiped away the laughter tears from his eyes and raised a single eyebrow, “I’ve always been like this…?”

Jinyoung looked aghast at his own words for second. It would have been more comical if he didn’t look so confused utterance. The brunet paused for another beat before closing his eyes, his own brows furrowed as if in deep thought, “No. No that’s not right. You…”

“I?” Mark prompted. It felt like something really important had just passed right over his head.

The younger man held still for another few seconds before slowly shaking his head as if to disentangle his own thread of thoughts, “Mark… Mark, you… Frankly speaking, I have to ask you this. Why do you love me? You said before that you loved me for a long time now, but what I don’t understand is why do you feel that way? We’ve never truly spoken before nor have we ever interacted. I know for certain about how I feel about you and what these feelings mean. Though I can’t help, but wonder if you love or the image of me?”

The odd way the other man had reacted prior aside, Mark found himself coming up short against such a bold accusation. The last sentence was somber, more along the lines of sobering. This night was a mess of emotions. Mark spoke softly, “Of course I do. I… At least I think I do? Jinyoung, I’ve always loved you. Was there anything that I’ve done recently that would make you doubt me?”

Jinyoung’s lips trembled slightly as he replied, looking initially reluctant at his own admission, “It’s just well, you seemed more than happy when Jisoo was touching you earlier and whenever you talked about loving me in the past, I couldn’t help, but wonder if you were just lonely. Like I was the closest thing in this country that looked like salvation to you and that just maybe…”

The other man trailed off and in that singular moment, it was like a residual anger had bled out of Jinyoung’s composure, leaving only vulnerability and shame in its place. The brunet had never looked more unsure of himself now than Mark had ever seen before. It reminded the redhead of the man who cried quietly in the low light of the bathroom all by himself. The confession wasn’t kind, but maybe that didn’t mean the nuance behind the words were a complete lie. 

And maybe… 

As much as it pained Mark to even admit to himself, this ordinary love might have been born out desperation, loneliness, and one single smile at the right place at the right time… Maybe that much was true, but the context of how everything began didn’t explain all the things that Mark felt for Jinyoung now. If this was just a mere crush, the redhead didn’t think he could go so far for one person. 

Mark took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down his rapidly beating heart all the while trying to carefully search for all the things he had left unsaid thus far. Slowly, he reached out to the younger man, interlacing their fingers in comfort to let Jinyoung know he was still listening. It took all his remaining bravery to look directly at the brunet.

“Maybe…?”

Jinyoung met his eyes with a bitter smile splayed out on his pink lips, “...just maybe now that you were making all these new friends and meeting new people, you wouldn’t need me anymore. I mean, everyone’s been so taken with you lately. I feel like I never hear the end of it from my club mates. It didn’t help that you just kept coming to drama practice. I’d already give you blessings prior so I couldn’t just turn you away all of a sudden. And everytime you came back, you just kept growing closer and closer to everyone else, but it felt like this psychical distance between us had remained the same.”

The brunet continued to prattle on, “I guess at the end of the day, I thought that people remain the same and what you wanted from me wasn’t any different from anyone else. I figured from the way you always seemed to hate it when I touched you. I mean we’ve already been dating for how long now and you haven’t even tried to kiss me once-”

Mark flushed bright red and sputtered, “What?! You-! I-! Well I mean, it’s not like I haven’t thought about it! It’s just that uh, I mean… Er… Urgh…” He released Jinyoung’s hands to bury his head into his palms instead.

Jinyoung’s accusations had taken a really embarrassing turn. It was that same lack of action that he had already been well aware of. The younger man could only make a sound of bewilderment at the interruption after his own vindicated declaration. 

It seemed like Jinyoung never stopped surprising him. Leaving Mark breathless in more ways than one. He got the feeling that tip toeing around the situation wasn’t doing him any favors so the only logical path forward was to be straight forward as possible. 

He lifted his head out of the palm of his hands, “Jinyoung, this might not come to a surprise to you, but I’m pretty dumb and maybe, you’re kind of mean, but I don’t dislike that about you. In fact, I think, no I know that I still love you. No one else has ever mattered nearly as much as you do in my eyes. I accepted this fact the moment I saw you smile for the first time. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted to look at, but staring at you can be a little scary so sometimes it’s easier to admire from far away.”

Jinyoung merely quirked an eyebrow in complete disbelief, “How can you say that? You really still love me? With all that parts that make me a bad person? You would have to be a complete fool to stay around any longer and I… wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to leave me now…”

The last few words trailed off, lowering in pitch and softening in volume. They were an expectation, almost a taunt. Jinyoung was openly daring Mark to take that last step and cut his metaphorical ties cleanly while he still had a chance. 

Mark considered the meaning of those words for a moment before throwing them away complete without a hint of hesitation, “Jinyoung, if you’re a bad person then that hardly makes a saint in comparison for all the things I’ve done and continue doing. But from what I’ve observed, you’ve always been a man of careful consideration whether it came down to your word choice or whatever expression you allowed to appear on your face. But that’s not you, at least not all of you and I don’t think I could ever be satisfied with just pieces anymore. I want to know all of you. Everything. The anger, the sadness, the things that make you laugh. Any self made restriction would just be a shadow of the person I care about.”

Jinyoung’s eyes remained downcast. Mark distantly thought the other man shined so brilliantly sometimes it was painful for him to look at for long.

“That doesn’t change that fact that you hurt. Nor does it change the fact that there were a lot of places I could have done better as well. But that doesn’t mean I want this to be the end of everything because I want work on things with you. I want us to to continue loving each other. I can’t go back and fix the things we’ve already said and done, I can only acknowledge those actions and try to move. Isn’t that what you want as well?”

The brunet’s lips trembled like this was a particularly bitter pill to swallow before meeting Mark’s eyes, flushed again with tears, nodding his head in agreement. 

Mark breathed a sigh of relief, “If it’s okay with you, I’m going to hug you now and if that isn’t what you want and that’s not okay with you, you can always say no and push me away, alright?

He gave Jinyoung a few moments of reprieve, just long enough to psychically or vocally reject him if the latter truly wanted to. Although the brunet just held achingly still and finally, he embraced the younger man. The width of his slim arms wrapped around the span of Jinyoung’s shoulders, taking in the heat of the other’s warmth. Mark let the heavy emotions envelope them as he squeezed Jinyoung hard. 

Jinyoung returned the strong embrace with the same desperation and Mark thought that it felt wonderful to come back home to these arms. 

Mark whispered into Jinyoung’s ear, “I want you to be comfortable enough to freely express any unhappiness you might feel and I’ll try my best to reciprocate those sentiments. I want to hear everything you have to say.”

He couldn’t see the other’s face buried in the hollow of his collarbone, but he could feel the tremble in the man’s voice, “Mark… I… I’m sorry.”

The words sounded awkward in Jinyoung’s mouth, but they didn’t seem any less sincere. It sounded more like a struggle and maybe even something the brunet had never allowed himself to say out loud before. It was process, a step forward. Mark looked into the inky darkness of the night above them, breathing in slowly the freezing air. This lasting moment of silence grounded him.

“You and I… we’re probably the same thing, selfish people. But I rather be selfish than spend another day without you.”

The last hour alone had been a whirlwind of uneasy emotions and as long as Mark kept the love spell in place, it seemed unlikely that this argument would ever be the last. Although Mark had never felt closer to Jinyoung than right now. Through all the pain and jealousy, they had struggled to find common ground. Their broken communication had a lot left to be desired, but he understood now that if he didn’t articulate his thoughts properly, this distance between them would only continue to grow. Things needed to be better from here on out, no they would be and Mark tried to take comfort in that fact.

He could only hope that these well wishes would be enough to keep things from falling apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a high chance I'll be editing this chapter or the last few to make sure everything is in align with what I foresee this story going. I need to revise what I've also written in past chapters because I feel like I'm forgetting myself since it's been so long since I last updated, but rest assured this story will be completed eventually. I can't guarantee any proper update schedule because I'm set to graduate this year, but I'll try my best.

**Author's Note:**

> 3/2019: I've been having a lot of trouble writing this story and I think it's partially due to the fact that the past two or so chapters were written with a large time gap between them so I lost my vision of the story. So I'm actually planning to rewrite most of the chapters so everything flows better together! I haven't given up on this story yet!


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